Today, I got on my girlfriend's computer while she was in the shower. The first thing in her 'recent searches' is "How to Fake an Orgasm." FMSL

I get more pleasure from squeezing my legs together than my boyfriend of a year ever gives me. FMSL

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to cum, he yelled "Yes Kelly!" really loud. My name's not Kelly, that's his sister's name. FMSL

A woman I met at the bar was hinting that all I needed to do was say the word and I could go home with her. I didn't take her up on it because I could feel a huge poop coming on and I didn't want to dump it at her apartment. I got cockblocked by the calzone I had for lunch. FMSL

So I was having sex with this girl from my class and we were really getting into it. I was about to cum, but she orgasmed first. When she did she screamed "I'm Cumming!" in a Demonic lower pitched voice. I stopped and never came. FMSL