Tibbi

So I'm really not completely sure what the hell is wrong with me; my throat is quite sore, more so on the right-hand side, my right ear is always aching, I'm quite drowsy, I can barley swallow water without extreme pain, but I'm not coughing nor do feel nauseous. The ache is at the very top of my neck, the back of my mouth, so the only thing i can think is maybe its a minor case of tonsillitis. Well F___ that, i can't afford to take time off of work, so I just dealt with it four a week or so thinking it was just my imagination, or something minor that will go away. Finally last night I just got fed up. Now mind you I keep a bottle next to my bed for these kind of emergencies, or in case the liquor cabinet is empty. But being in constant suffering for a week I finally decided enough was enough. i took a few sips out of my trusty Nyqil bottle and passed out. I woke this morning with the usual groggy, late, clumsy Nyquil hangover; but no pain..... NO PAIN! I usually woke up with massive cotton-mouth and the worst case of "take that dagger out of my throat, wait nvm." Not today, my neck is almost totally pain free an My mouth feels as slippery as wet otter's ass in spring. So is this coincidence, or is Nyquil really the drug of choice for all things gruesome? It's pretty rare that I get sick, but when I do Nyquil is always my weapon of choice. Why? Nyquil is like no other health-care product on the planet. Nyquil actually works, unlike many of the other BS products available Nyquil will knock you the F out, hunt down the disturbance, slaughter it mercilessly, kill its family and offspring, and impale them all upon hollow pikes to detour any other invading illnesses. All this in the course of 8 short hours. Nyqil is is like an Assyrian onslaught on your illness. It does not care about what kind of illness you may have or what severity, Nyqil will bludgeon it to pulp, urinate on the corpse, destroy all evidence, then eat it ALIVE! What makes Nyquil so effective? No one knows, because Nyqil had killed anyone who poses a threat to it's beautiful secret. Nyquil is the reason Chuck Norris was forced to stop filming episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. Little known fact before going to bed every night, Chuck Norris checks his closet for Nyquil. Nyqil once beat Super Mario Bros. 3 in under 5 minutes without ever touching the controller, he simpled yelled at the console between bites of his Filet-o-child sandwich! Nyquil is the ultimate badass. And a fun recreation beverage! In fact Nyquil's only form is in a red or green liquid, making Nyquil the perfect Christmas cocktail. It has been called "the moon shine of medicine." I don't think I can say it any better: "it has the greatest thing I have ever read on a medicine package: 180 proof." If you too suffer from an illness, or just want to cure boredom; have a shot! Toast one for me and you. drink to your hearts content, because Nyquil will no doubt solve all of life's little problems.


True story (sort of)

majik

I only read the first half of your post. The second half seemed to ramble about useless stuff, and I'm a busy man, so straight and to the point:

How long had you been feeling "sick?"

While Nyquil may or may not have cured your mystery sickness, I find that different medicines work differently for different people (make sense?). Personally, if I get a headache, I can pop one Aleeve and it's gone within 5 minutes. My wife needs Motrin, Aleeve doesn't do anything for her. I believe that our bodies are so complicated that a different mixture of medicines or active ingredients will provide different results.

It kinda sounded to me like you had Mono from your description, but I don't know what other symptoms you had.

Blue Blaze

Hahah, thats got to be the longest explanation of NyQil I've seen. But it was a very interesting and detailed explanation. Nicely done! fing02.gif

Tibbi

It didn't seem to be contagious so I ruled out most of the big guys.

StrikeEagle

I don't know about the Nyquil, but that has got to be one of the funniest posts evar!!


WTF?? LOL lmao.gif

REDZMAN

Sounds like you've contracted Gonoherpilsiphilitishiv.

Go cut your throat.

Honestly, I can't even look at that post without getting a headache.

Tibbi

Nyqil will solve your headache

Bullfrog

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Rant = owned... http://coolswag.blogspot.com/2006/01/mr-t-...united_917.html

(Chris Jericho voice)
Neverrr, EEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVEEERRR rip something from Mr T.


Thanks and have a great coma.

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Tibbi

Ah yes, but does Mr. T drive and ice cream truck covered in human skulls? Nyquil does!




No Mr. T got screwed, he drives around in a 1980 GMC van with a crazy, and an old man.
And he always seems to be tailed by some white guy in a vette who looks an awful lot like Starbuck.