ok, so my older bro has no car and he's pretty much a bum that is paying for child support. i have two and was thinking of giving him my tib, reason cause is it's either that or my 07 Rolla(that im still paying for). stupidly my wife's already told my bro and sis n law that i was going to give it to them but I said I'd think about it. so to be a good bro sould i give him my baby that i've had for the past 8 years???? sad.gif

i mean he has a car but he f***ed it up, 01 mazda millenia lowered w/ rims. it needs a motor and tranny; he's got really bad credit so he can't even take out a loan. i checked and it will cost close to 4k to fix it at the shop with a motor that has 80kish, the car has 88k on it. the body and interior is mint but the electric adjustable steering wheel is screwed up.

i'm not sure what to do, any comments would be appreciated.

 

Don't throw your own money into him if he's already blown something up. Be a brother and help him out, just not by giving him something that he can mess up.

I would either help him get rid of the car, since the interior is mint you could part out, or else help him get payments on a new car.

Giving him things isn't going to help with anything long term. If you can help him to have to straighten out what hes doing then do that.

 

don't give him your car, or let him drive it. he's an individual, brother or sister they have their own lives and gotta help themselves. if you help him it will lead to some disaster and make the relationship worse.

let him figure things out on his own. it's the only way. you shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes. you're not his father.

 

The sort of activity you propose is also known as "throwing good money after bad" and "enabling." It is NOT helping. It seems to relieve a temporary problem but contributes to an overall tendency not to take care of one's own problems. Time for some Tough Love.

Note: when you love someone enough to tell them to kick bricks and figure it out for themselves, they often don't much like you and even turn the rest of the family against you. If you can't stand to have the disapproval of your family on your shoulders, cave and at least get him a beater to drive. If you want to do the right thing, push him off the teat and let him sink or swim. Whatever you do, don't do it halfway or he will throw it in your face even worse.

. . . nevermind how I know about that . . . .

 

Like the posts before me said don't give him the car... Find other ways to help him but being way too generous has ways to bite you back, even though it maybe your brother.

Edit-
Read what Stocker said after I posted and he summed it up pretty damn well.

 

I agree with Yellowlightning. If you just give him something, not only will he not respect it, he won't respect you. The moment you turn over your blood sweat and tears to him, you will cease to be a brother and become a mark. Sounds cold, I know, but that's the way I've experienced this type of situation.

In order for him to learn from his mistakes, he's going to have to face them, and solve them. It's part of being an adult.

I'm not saying don't help him, he IS family, but don't just give him stuff. Make him earn it. Work for it. It builds character. Perhaps he might have to get a $400 beater for a while but at least he'll have wheels.

There's an old saying "Beggars can't be choosers." If he can't afford to fix his own car, he's going to have to settle for something else until he can afford to.

Remember he wrecked his, what's to say he won't damage yours.

 

Has your brother bailed you out when you needed it? If he's a friend in turn, to you, then help him out. I may be biased though, considering that my bro and I are like best friends.

Especially now that your wife said something along the lines of you helping him out, I think what Stocker said may happen: the family may turn against you.

You could get him a beater. You can get a running decent car for like $500 (my neighbour got an old car, but still runs well, for $100). Then he can register it and transfer insurance to his name. You will have helped him, feel good about yourself, and you will have kept your tib.

After a quick search on Craigslist; I think this is the Craigslist in your area:

--- 1990 Buick LeSabre 2dr --- - $500 obo (http://appleton.craigslist.org/cto/1144930584.html)

The guy seems desperate to get rid of it. Offer $250 and I think he'll take it.

Just think of it this way. If your brother asked you for $250 to help him out, instead of you having to give him your tib, would that make for an easier choice?

 

I know hes family but if he tanks the tib then where are you at.......

I vote to get him a beater too.

 

beater.

 

Get him a beater or help him fix that car. Getting a junkyard engine and tranny might run you under $1k and you'll learn some new stuff smile.gif