This is an 18+ section that may contain language, images, and video not suitable for work, marriages, children, or anyone opposed to graphic content. Dirty Joke Thread
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Joined: Jan 2005
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From: fairfax, virginia
just one i got from my cousin...
one day a little boy comes home from school with a project and asks his dad for help on it. the father agrees to help on it and asks "what it is." the boy says "my project is to find out what the difference between potentially and actually is." the father sits there for minute and thinks about it. he then tells his son "go ask your mom if shed have sex with someone for a million dollars." the boy runs off to find his mom, and when he found her he asked her the question. "would you have sex with some one for a million dollars?" the mom thinks about for a second and answers "yes." the boy runs back to his dad to tell him what she said. the boy tells his father and the father says, "ok now go ask your sister the exact same question." the boy runs off and finds his sister. he asks her "would you have sex with someone for a million dollars?" she says, "hell yes" the boy runs back to his father and tells him she said, "yes" the father sits there for a second then tells the boy," so potentially were sittin on 2 million dollars. but accually were livin with a couple of whores."
kinda long, but i found it amusing. laugh.gif
one day a little boy comes home from school with a project and asks his dad for help on it. the father agrees to help on it and asks "what it is." the boy says "my project is to find out what the difference between potentially and actually is." the father sits there for minute and thinks about it. he then tells his son "go ask your mom if shed have sex with someone for a million dollars." the boy runs off to find his mom, and when he found her he asked her the question. "would you have sex with some one for a million dollars?" the mom thinks about for a second and answers "yes." the boy runs back to his dad to tell him what she said. the boy tells his father and the father says, "ok now go ask your sister the exact same question." the boy runs off and finds his sister. he asks her "would you have sex with someone for a million dollars?" she says, "hell yes" the boy runs back to his father and tells him she said, "yes" the father sits there for a second then tells the boy," so potentially were sittin on 2 million dollars. but accually were livin with a couple of whores."
kinda long, but i found it amusing. laugh.gif
Thread Starter
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From: Tampa/St Petersburg
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Yah bryce that was in one of the recent maxims, def funny...
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this one came off the top of my head thursday at work lol
A new waitress was going to clean bathroom and asked me
"is it ok to use Windex on the toilet seats?"
i said
"of course!!! thats how you get that STREAK free shine"
lol...every one working busted up laughing haha...
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this one came off the top of my head thursday at work lol
A new waitress was going to clean bathroom and asked me
"is it ok to use Windex on the toilet seats?"
i said
"of course!!! thats how you get that STREAK free shine"
lol...every one working busted up laughing haha...
Thread Starter
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From: Tampa/St Petersburg
Vehicle: Turbocharged 2001 Hyundai Tiburon
QUOTE (Dmitry @ Apr 23 2005, 06:51 PM)
^I didn't get it 
its cuz english is a second language to you right? prolly doesnt translate correctly... id explain it to ya but then its not gonna be that funny lol
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From: Tampa/St Petersburg
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why wouldnt he be reading maxim?? It is a great magazine, do you know what maxim is? it was in one of the recent ones, here is the joke on the site if you dont believe me:
http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/joke_1673.html
here is a good one from maxim too:
“Doctor, won’t you please kiss me,” says the patient.
“No. You’re a very beautiful woman, but it’s against my code of ethics,” replies her doctor.
“Please, just one kiss,” she pleads.
“Sorry,” says the doctor. “It’s totally out of the question. I shouldn’t even be fvcking you.”
LOL
http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/joke_1673.html
here is a good one from maxim too:
“Doctor, won’t you please kiss me,” says the patient.
“No. You’re a very beautiful woman, but it’s against my code of ethics,” replies her doctor.
“Please, just one kiss,” she pleads.
“Sorry,” says the doctor. “It’s totally out of the question. I shouldn’t even be fvcking you.”
LOL
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^^^ lol those 2 jokes was funny!
yeah, sometimes it's hard to understand or translate some slang and some words with different meanings. Sometimes even Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English doesn't help :unsure:
QUOTE (alex01tib @ Apr 24 2005, 05:43 AM)
its cuz english is a second language to you right?
yeah, sometimes it's hard to understand or translate some slang and some words with different meanings. Sometimes even Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English doesn't help :unsure: