This is an 18+ section that may contain language, images, and video not suitable for work, marriages, children, or anyone opposed to graphic content. Dirty Joke Thread
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,334
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From: Tampa/St Petersburg
Vehicle: Turbocharged 2001 Hyundai Tiburon
double post for obvious reasons...
got some more
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A nun wearing a full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her in the face. Before she can scream, he lands a quick jab and finishes with an uppercut. She goes down, and the drunk starts kicking her in the sides. A few of his friends walk out of the bar, and as they pull him off the bloody nun, he yells, “You’re not so tough, are you, Batman!â€
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Jerry’s at the urinal in an airport restroom when a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads, "Hey, buddy–can you help me out here?"
Though he feels uneasy, Jerry bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, and reaches in to pull out the guy’s penis. Much to his horror, it’s hideous. It’s moldy and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful.
Imagining the kudos he’ll get on Judgment Day, Jerry holds the man’s unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts it back in the man’s pants and zips him up.
The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
"No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta ask—What the hell’s wrong with your johnson?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says, "I don’t know, but I sure as hell ain’t touching it."
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doubt anybody would mind if i post some pics too..
oh yah jokes
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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde work for a woman who always leaves the office early on Friday. One week the girls decide to duck out as well, once the coast is clear. The brunette goes shopping, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home…where she spies her boss having sex with her husband! She quietly sneaks out and returns several hours later.
On Monday morning, the girls all gather around the water cooler to chat. “Leaving early last Friday was great,†says the brunette. “We should do it again this week.â€
“Totally,†agrees the redhead.
“No way,†says the blonde. “I almost got caught.â€
got some more
.................................................. ..............................
.......................
A nun wearing a full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her in the face. Before she can scream, he lands a quick jab and finishes with an uppercut. She goes down, and the drunk starts kicking her in the sides. A few of his friends walk out of the bar, and as they pull him off the bloody nun, he yells, “You’re not so tough, are you, Batman!â€
.................................................. ..............................
........................
Jerry’s at the urinal in an airport restroom when a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads, "Hey, buddy–can you help me out here?"
Though he feels uneasy, Jerry bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, and reaches in to pull out the guy’s penis. Much to his horror, it’s hideous. It’s moldy and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful.
Imagining the kudos he’ll get on Judgment Day, Jerry holds the man’s unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts it back in the man’s pants and zips him up.
The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
"No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta ask—What the hell’s wrong with your johnson?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says, "I don’t know, but I sure as hell ain’t touching it."
.................................................. ..............................
........................
doubt anybody would mind if i post some pics too..
oh yah jokes
.................................................. ..............................
...........................
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde work for a woman who always leaves the office early on Friday. One week the girls decide to duck out as well, once the coast is clear. The brunette goes shopping, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home…where she spies her boss having sex with her husband! She quietly sneaks out and returns several hours later.
On Monday morning, the girls all gather around the water cooler to chat. “Leaving early last Friday was great,†says the brunette. “We should do it again this week.â€
“Totally,†agrees the redhead.
“No way,†says the blonde. “I almost got caught.â€
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,341
Likes: 0
From: Mass
Vehicle: 97 Tiburon
A young man sits down at a bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offence, sir, but if 6 shots doesn't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offence, sir, but if 6 shots doesn't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 0
From: Tampa/St Petersburg
Vehicle: Turbocharged 2001 Hyundai Tiburon
heres another
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A hot coed visits a doctor for a physical. After the checkup the doctor says, “Everything looks fine, but why is an M imprinted on your stomach?â€
“My boyfriend goes to Michigan,†she replies. “He loves his school so much that he wears his varsity jacket during sex.â€
The next day a different coed visits the same doctor, and she also has an M on her stomach.
“Let me guess,†says the doctor, “your boyfriend goes to Michigan.â€
“No, but my girlfriend’s at Wisconsin.â€
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LOL!! these damn pics keep posting themselves!!
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A hot coed visits a doctor for a physical. After the checkup the doctor says, “Everything looks fine, but why is an M imprinted on your stomach?â€
“My boyfriend goes to Michigan,†she replies. “He loves his school so much that he wears his varsity jacket during sex.â€
The next day a different coed visits the same doctor, and she also has an M on her stomach.
“Let me guess,†says the doctor, “your boyfriend goes to Michigan.â€
“No, but my girlfriend’s at Wisconsin.â€
--------------------------------------------------------------------------LOL!! these damn pics keep posting themselves!!
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,100
Likes: 0
From: the Poconos, Pennsylvania
Arite, so does anyone know the definition of indefinately?
When your balls are slapping her in the ass, you're in...DEFINATELY.
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How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it back out.
When your balls are slapping her in the ass, you're in...DEFINATELY.
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How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it back out.
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 309
Likes: 0
From: Portsmouth, VA
3 guys walk into a bar.. they all say ouch!
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Short version. (sorry at work)
3 friends get pulled over for speeding..
Cop comes up and taps on the window.
"You know what forget the ticket.. If you 3 boys can prove to me that your d***s combined equals 20 inches in length i will let you go."
So the first guy pulls out... 10 inches.
Second. 9 inches.
The last guy pulls out a whopping 1 incher...
"20 inches. You boys have a good night."
After the cop leaves the first guy says. "You guys are lucky i have a 10 incher."
The third guys says, "Oh yeah! well you guys are lucky i had a hard-on."
------------------------------------------
Short version. (sorry at work)
3 friends get pulled over for speeding..
Cop comes up and taps on the window.
"You know what forget the ticket.. If you 3 boys can prove to me that your d***s combined equals 20 inches in length i will let you go."
So the first guy pulls out... 10 inches.
Second. 9 inches.
The last guy pulls out a whopping 1 incher...
"20 inches. You boys have a good night."
After the cop leaves the first guy says. "You guys are lucky i have a 10 incher."
The third guys says, "Oh yeah! well you guys are lucky i had a hard-on."
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,334
Likes: 0
From: Tampa/St Petersburg
Vehicle: Turbocharged 2001 Hyundai Tiburon
QUOTE (Solohan50 @ Apr 9 2005, 03:29 AM)
why don't old women have sex?
have you ever tried peeling a grilled cheese sandwich apart?
have you ever tried peeling a grilled cheese sandwich apart?
awww man thats nasty, horrible mental image lol