Trying To Explain To My 8yr Old Sister About Heaven
12-18-2006, 10:35 AM
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Last night, I took my sister to her favorite restaurant, no reason cept she asked me to lol...
It was just me and her and we get to talkin about things and I asked her why she doesnt like to go to the cemetary. She said shes confused by it all. How her bodys in the ground, but shes supposed to be in heaven... So I explain that to her as best as I can for her to understand. Then I ask her if she ever talks to mom and she said only when shes been ot the cemetary. She said she wrote her a letter one day and tied it to a balloon and let it go, but that she hasnt gotten anything back from her yet. It took everything I had not to break down when i heard this. So then i explained how I talk to her and how other people sometimes talk to their loved ones who have passed and that we never get an answer in words or letters. the answers come in signs. She said "so if i ask mommy if this dress looks better than the other one and then i spill something on one, thats the sign i shouldnt wear it?" i laughed and said yes. Then she was askin me questions about god and what he looks like and "if you die when you are reallllly old, do you like really old in heaven, because i want to look pretty again" so then i explained no ones ever seen god, whos living anyways. I told her its only a place you see once youre gone and tried explaining to her thats a huge reason a lot of people dont believe in god, because they cant see him.
I was just wondering if any of you have had experience with this? i know some of you are parents and already have, but what about anyone else. If you have, whats the advice or reasons you give to them? I dont know if what I was tryin to tell her was right or not, but i didnt know what else to say. I just posted this because I want to help her as much as possible and to understand it as best as she can
It was just me and her and we get to talkin about things and I asked her why she doesnt like to go to the cemetary. She said shes confused by it all. How her bodys in the ground, but shes supposed to be in heaven... So I explain that to her as best as I can for her to understand. Then I ask her if she ever talks to mom and she said only when shes been ot the cemetary. She said she wrote her a letter one day and tied it to a balloon and let it go, but that she hasnt gotten anything back from her yet. It took everything I had not to break down when i heard this. So then i explained how I talk to her and how other people sometimes talk to their loved ones who have passed and that we never get an answer in words or letters. the answers come in signs. She said "so if i ask mommy if this dress looks better than the other one and then i spill something on one, thats the sign i shouldnt wear it?" i laughed and said yes. Then she was askin me questions about god and what he looks like and "if you die when you are reallllly old, do you like really old in heaven, because i want to look pretty again" so then i explained no ones ever seen god, whos living anyways. I told her its only a place you see once youre gone and tried explaining to her thats a huge reason a lot of people dont believe in god, because they cant see him.
I was just wondering if any of you have had experience with this? i know some of you are parents and already have, but what about anyone else. If you have, whats the advice or reasons you give to them? I dont know if what I was tryin to tell her was right or not, but i didnt know what else to say. I just posted this because I want to help her as much as possible and to understand it as best as she can
12-18-2006, 12:32 PM
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I don't have any personal experience with your situation, but I've worked in funeral home for 5 years now, and explaining death to children is probably the most difficult thing you'll have to do. I think I have some brochures here that may help you. If you want I can send them to you. My office is in the Community Awareness Centre, so I have access to all of those resources.
I heard somewhere that everyone in heaven looks like they're 35...lol. I guess it makes sense, you're not old, and you're not young, whether its true or not, I guess I won't know until its my turn.
I was really close with my grandfather, he was like my best friend as I didn't have many friend growing up, I was always an outcast. And when I lost him it was the most difficult time of my life. My parents best explanation was that God had called my grandfather home because he didn't want to see him in pain any longer. They told me that he couldn't take his body with him, so he left it for us to return it to the earth, and the place that he was returned would be a place to go whenever we needed him.
To this day I still go to his grave when I need advice, and so far I've always managed to make the right decisions.
I heard somewhere that everyone in heaven looks like they're 35...lol. I guess it makes sense, you're not old, and you're not young, whether its true or not, I guess I won't know until its my turn.
I was really close with my grandfather, he was like my best friend as I didn't have many friend growing up, I was always an outcast. And when I lost him it was the most difficult time of my life. My parents best explanation was that God had called my grandfather home because he didn't want to see him in pain any longer. They told me that he couldn't take his body with him, so he left it for us to return it to the earth, and the place that he was returned would be a place to go whenever we needed him.
To this day I still go to his grave when I need advice, and so far I've always managed to make the right decisions.
12-18-2006, 12:36 PM
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thats a good way to look at it and it makes a lot of sense. the thing is noone really knows what heaven is like. and we wont know until it is our turn to go. i kind of jsut think of it as a place for us to live forever even when our bodies are gone
12-18-2006, 04:25 PM
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I don;t want to look 35 when I am in heaven.. I am 36 now and I look terrible.. Well, maybe 35 with a full head of hair.
Anyway, I feel for you man. Death is a subject that is hard to tell anybody about, the younger they are, the harder it is. She sounds very grown up for somebody so young, I guess losing your mom can do that to you?
Anyway, I feel for you man. Death is a subject that is hard to tell anybody about, the younger they are, the harder it is. She sounds very grown up for somebody so young, I guess losing your mom can do that to you?
12-18-2006, 09:01 PM
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QUOTE
She said she wrote her a letter one day and tied it to a balloon and let it go, but that she hasnt gotten anything back from her yet.
Ha, that's cute. Well, I know she's eight years old, but it's cool to tell her the truth. It is part of the Christian religion. I think you should take her to bible study too. It'll help because there's other 8 year olds that is going to be in the classroom too.
Mad-Machine: The soul is faceless with no looks.
12-19-2006, 07:14 AM
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^^ Or everyone would look exactly how you would best remember them. You mother or father would never look old, your grandparents would appear as they did when you were younger and spent time with them.
Theres so many ways to look at it, but dont force her to believe something that she doesn't understand. Its best to let them figure things out on their own, but give them guidance as they do it.
Theres so many ways to look at it, but dont force her to believe something that she doesn't understand. Its best to let them figure things out on their own, but give them guidance as they do it.
12-19-2006, 09:57 AM
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QUOTE (Mad-Machine @ Dec 18 2006, 06:25 PM)
She sounds very grown up for somebody so young, I guess losing your mom can do that to you?
Shes always been this way. Shes incredibly smart and is able to pick up on A LOT!
To me...I think heaven is what we make of it. what i mean is my heaven would be what was closest to my heart...my family as i knew them growing up, my dog, my home, etc.
But to a grandparent or younger sibling it could be totally different
12-19-2006, 01:54 PM
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hey you're doing your best. i'd just tell her the truth but tell her that she's got her entire life ahead and she's just a young girl. kids have to know about these things first hand to accept them. kids aren't supposed to worry about things like that.