Two Priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.
> One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices
> there's a Nicoderm patch on it.
> He turns to the other Priest and says, "I believe you're
> supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder,
> not your penis."
>
> The other one replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down
> to 2 butts a day
>
--------------------------------------------------

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family
>>>> > including his mother-in-law.
>>>> >
>>>> > During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem. George's
>>>> > mother-in-law died.
>>>> >
>>>> > With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate
>>>> > Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper
>>>> > burial.
>>>> >
>>>> > The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told George
>>>> > that the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very
>>>> > expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00. The Consul continues, in
>>>> > most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury
>>>> > the body here. This would only cost $150.00.
>>>> >
>>>> > George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will
>>>> > cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
>>>> >
>>>> > The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your
>>>> > mother-in-law
>>>> > very much considering the difference in price."
>>>> >
>>>> > "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many years
>>>> > ago
>>>> > of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose
>>>> > from the dead! I just can't take that chance ."
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> >
-------------------------------------------------

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
> > > >
> > > >Indubitably
> > > >
> > > >Innovative
> > > >
> > > >Preliminary
> > > >
> > > >Proliferation
> > > >
> > > >Cinnamon
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
> > > >
> > > >Specificity
> > > >
> > > >British Constitution
> > > >
> > > >Passive-aggressive disorder
> > > >
> > > >Loquacious Transubstantiate
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
> > > >
> > > >Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
> > > >
> > > >Nope, no more booze for me
> > > >
> > > >Sorry, but you're not really my type
> > > >
> > > >Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
> > > >
> > > >Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
--------------------------------------------------

 

Hehe, that was funny.

 

lol!

awesome

 

nice.

 

nice Jokes-pretty damn funny

 

LOL!!