Just wondering about people's thoughts on non-standard relationships.

Such as:

One guy living with two women?
One person living with one other person but dating on the side with or without their partner's knowledge?
Open relationships?
Swingers?
Dating multiple people seriously but not living with anyone with or without their partners' knowledge?

This is a subject outside of my personal experience (for the most part) but I'm interested in other people's takes on the subject or their own personal experiences or that of people you know. Is this damaging to a child involved? Would it keep you from having friends or impact your career? Would your family disown you? Is there any type of non standard relationship that you think would work for you? Would you prefer it to the standard one on one relationships?

 

the whole thing just confused me (but it doesnt take much to do that!) personally I think that any of this is that persons choice but if you are in a relationship and you fully love that person and the kid (if there is a kid involved) than i personally wouldnt risk ruining that relationship! if that makes sense??

 

That makes sense to me 97redtib. I can see how it could be an issue obviously with the current significant other if you bring someone else into the household (even if they're okay with it to start with). As far as hurting the kid potentially what kind of damage might be done do you think? I think the biggest chance for damage would be that if the relationship lasted like say...2 years for example...then it broke up for one reason or another that would be hard for a kid because they would have had a relationship with the other person too and it would be every bit as painful (maybe moreso) for the kid to lose a family member. Any other reason? Ridiculed at school? Etc.?

 

I think that it will only be as damaging to the kid as any other relationship. They tend to get attached and then you/they walk away. It will always hurt the kid, but if done in a good way it shouldn't affect them much if at all. It will make any situation harder with kids involved, but the adults in the relationship need to think about how it could affect the kid. Most kids want their parents happy and while it will affect them, as long as you let them in on the situation (age appropriate) it shouldn't be an issue. That is not to say that they should know what goes on behind closed doors. No one should know what happens there unless you so choose to tell them. But what kid wants to hear that... LOL! But seriously, you should at least tell them that something is going on. I think the slower the better when kids are involved.

 

Well I dont know they could be rediculed at school (kids are mean sometimes), the kid could grow up to have some serious commitment issues or fidelity issues, possibly counselling (the kid feeling like the family split up because of something they did). It could seriously affect them I think, depending on how much the kid knows and how cruel their friends can be!

 

I suppose that you could say the same thing about lots of other situations too though, ranging from overweight parents to crappy cars for the other kids to ridicule the kid over or single parents that get a new partner and then split up to cause the child emotional damage. I suppose that if nothing else it could be confusing and cause the child to look at relationships differently than most people do which could be considered a bad thing by some people...

 

Its funny how you look at relationships in a more serious matter as you get older. I know alot of people that have quote-unquote "open relationships" and are allowed to be with who ever they want. To me, thats called being single and having fun. laugh.gif Not being in a relationship. tongue.gif

 

Yeah, that's basically having a roommate that's a friend with lots of benefits I guess...

I think it's good that people who both feel that they can't settle for one person find each other and decide that they can have the best of both worlds though if it works for them. If one is not a certain about what they want though it would never work.

 

True I think Im just trying to say that in any situation listed it could just make the kid feel differently or think differently about relationships when they get older!

 

Yeah. I think that's a potential downfall for sure. Relationships are hard enough as it is. Coming into adulthood with a different opinion of what a "normal" relationship is could be a disadvantage.