Normally I wouldn't post anything about this but I just got to thinking about this and it was actually kinda funny.

Here we go 1:00 Tuesday afternoon I start my roadtrip to Columbus, Ohio. Beautiful day for driving, friggin cold, but nice nonetheless, I pick up my co-pilot, let's call him Mike. We stop at the Duty Free Shop to exchange some money and pick up Tim Horton's Coffee. Then I see the tall stacks of beer on our way out. No doubt this was a ploy to lure people like me into "last minute purchases" Thinking nothing of it I check out the price. $19.95 CDN...........FOR TALL BOYS. Yeah, that's right, 700+ml of Coors light for roughly $1.00 a piece. Needless to say I got a case.

So far things are going well. We know where we're going and we have a ton of beer to drink when we get there. Now unfortunately my winter car would not have made the 10+ hour trip to Mid-Ohio and back, so I had to take the Tiburon. This really wasn't a problem as she is in fine mechanical shape and is better on gas. Hrrrmmmmm.......gas, cars need that to run right? I am currently getting my gauges fixed up with some LED's courtesy of tibby01. But after a third of the way I realize I have no idea how much gas I have left in the tank. We got gas at the next exit.

All is still fine and dandy as we have just entered Ohio, our third and final state on the trip I might add. Don't we see a friggen White Castle. I had no idea there really was such a place. I thought it was some crazy made-up place for a movie. That was pretty cool, Mike and I decided we would eat at the next one we saw.

Now as I have no gauges I really don't know how fast I am going. I know that roughly around 3000rpm in third I'm doing 60kph and in 5th at the same rpm around 100kph, ~60mph, so I've been pretty darn conservative when it came speed. Passing through Cleveland we saw a cop that had an ambulance pulled over. I slowed down of course, but doesn't the ambulance pull away from the cop. Once everything got situated the cop was right behind me. Now being from Canada and having funny looking license plates I knew this guy would run them but I didn't think he would take half an hour to do it. I'll tell you right now, nothing, I mean NOTHING improves your driving technique like having a cop follow you. Man, I was counting how far back from the next car I was, mirror checking like 90, and whatever else floated back into my memory from Driver's Ed. Finally some chick in a stationwagon breezes past us, (must've missed the state trooper following me) thank god for stupid women drivers. ~2 miles later I was free from the rath of that godforsaken police car.

As we go on the sun found the worst spot. you know just below the sunvisor and above the tree line. I can't see damm thing! And what's worse, we haven't seen another White Castle for hours and we're getting hungry. Like a sign from god we see a road-sign for Wendy's. Hell, a burger is a burger when you're this hungry. As we make our way off the highway we see a sign for Ashland University, we thought we'd take a load off and go see what the hell is going on out there, we can't see anything on the highway anyway so why not. Upon some investigation we come across a food court looking thingie. we find 15 minute parking on campus and head inside.

Once inside we realized it wasn't a food court. It was a student cafeteria where you show a meal card to get food. Damm, we asked the Jabba-the-Hut lookalike, manning the card checking machine, where the washroom was. "We got a restroom" she replied with a thick thick southern accent and she actually raised her arm to point to a fairly large sign that said "RESTROOM" on it. On our way we noticed there were actually two ways to get in. We got to thinking about how tough it would be to score some free food. We decided to give it a try. What could happen, we either pay for the food, and get kicked out, or eat our faces off and laugh at the story we have to tell. Either we snuck past Jabba, or the nimble old lady that was working the other register. Well, we left the "restroom" and on our way back just followed a group of mixed guys and girls into the food area. It couldn't have worked out any better, these people must have been inside already cause we just walked past. I coiuldn't believe it, I swear it was just luck of the draw that these people walked by us, we just followed and pretended we were in deep conversation of mid-term exams or something. We scored some salad, two bowls of pasta, and a slice of pizza. We figured we better not overstay in case jabba looks behind her and notices us. So feeling pretty good we left and returned to the journey to Columbus.

We finally get to Columbus at around 8:00pm and meet with a person who remain nameless for the time being, due to the story that follows. We have just now realized that where we had planned on spending the night is like 3hrs away from us. Now we have to find a place to stay. We have beer to drink dammit and I'll be damned if I'm going to drive 3 more hours to do so. I'm staying put.

The person who will remain nameless is going back into the city so we followed them and figured we'd just find a place somewhere. On the way the person who will remain nameless' girlfriend ACCIDENTALLY cut off a blazer. This was totally innocent, the girlfriend signaled, started to move over, then didn't, the blazer braked, then she moved over. I hung back when I saw her try to move over. This must've really pissed this guy off, cause he swerved into my lane, co-incidentally cutting me off, moving behind the person who will remain nameless, and along side the girlfriend's car. He stayed there for a couple minutes, probably calling her everything but a black man, and then moved off wanted to move on. The person who will remain nameless wasn't moving fast enough so he started honking his horn and flashing his lights, so the person who will remain nameless sped up to let the idiot pass, as there were cars on his right. The girlfriend moves in front of me so we can follow the boyfriend, this is all fine and dandy until I realize that there is a Ford Explorer moving into my lane after merging onto the highway. Again the Driver's Ed. comes into mind, I moved over to the shoulder, dropped it down a gear and sped up. I then realized that the girlfriend wasn't going as fast and I had to move to the right hard to avoid her, then move quickly to the left to avoid another collision with a slow moving car in the right lane.

After our disaster on the highway we were directed to a bar that we could hit up that would be busy. We set off on a trip to 1. find the bar, and 2. find a hotel. We found the bar and the two blocks later don't we find a Holiday Inn. Beautiful Employee discount here we come! We got our room and polished off 6 tall boys, 6 x 700 = 4200ml of beer each. We start getting ready to go to the bar as it's 11:30, we downed one more each and were off in no time. It was quite the walk so to stay warm we jogged. In my drunken stupor I slipped on a huge patch of ice, or over my own feet, and fell....... hard. Thinking nothing of it I get up and run past my friend that has stopped to laugh at me.

We get to the bar, and it wasn't too bad, busy but nothing crazy. We filled the rest of the evening with more Coors Light and the occasional drunken person to laugh at. There was one guy that I must mention, I don't recall his name but it was his birthday and his friends were taking him out on the town, he sticks out cause before we left I took a pee and saw him standing with his **** out an his face planted against the cold wall.

We left and started the journey back to the hotel, my knee hurt but hell I wasn't complaining. As we were walking down the street, and were like 2 blocks from the hotel, we hear a honking horn and girls screaming. As we are typical males we turned to see a girl with her head out the window waving and screaming at us. They must've thought we were somebody else cause they pulled into the next parking lot. Well.... I should rephrase that. There was a parking lot but there was no entrance from where they were, there was though a lowered curb for some strange reason. They went over the sidewalk and hit one of those parking curb thingie's, you know those cement things that are about 8" high or so. They hit that pretty hard and popped their front driver side tire. The other wheels were either going to go flat or they miraculously avoided the curb with the other tires. I duon't know and didn't really care. I ended up being the nice guy and changed their tire for them. In hindsight it would've been hella funny if we just left them there for the police to find but, I couldn't do it. We then proceeded to the hotel room to have our fill of Coors Light and go to bed.

The way home was uneventful and long cause we were hungover and tired of driving. Moral of the story is that road trips kick @$$, I hope some people will read this entire thing, though very long, and realize that going someplace in a car is a great f*ing time. I wanted this trip to be quick and painless, I now will most likely have a scar on my knee and a lifetime of stories. Do it people, it's a great time.

 

That's some story..how long did it take you to type all this?? smile.gif

 

awsome story ( i read the first two words lol) food courts are awsome, thats the moral of the story, right?

 

No Kit..i think it's about getting drunk and having wild meaningless sex

 

holy damn that was a long story. I wanna know who "the person who will remain nameless" is.

i'm gonna assume it's Dweet. He's from Ohio.

how bout this. why'd you go to Ohio in the first place?

were those girls hot? if so... did they go back to your hotel room? if not... why'd you change their tire?! you tool.

stories like this will last a lifetime. its just the randomness of it. i have a story like that for a trip i took to montreal. just one of those things.

seriously, this must have taken you 45 mins to write! haha. good job!

 

Damn Spart, that's pretty good. Who would've though Nameless (and not the guy from Hero) was Dweet?? He probably used the money I gave him for the 1.8 ECU to buy the beer!!! I had a trip like that too..it was called "Going to Mardi Gras on a bus with 25horny women and me being the only good looking guy on the bus" awesome story...

 

I knew he was going to meet Dweet the minute I read the title of the story. lol.gif Although that's his ex girlfriend, not girlfriend. Unless they got back together, or you're talking about someone else entirely.



LOL! I was so confused the first time I saw a Washroom.



HELLS FVCKING YEAH! thats why Ive taken sooo many road trips to so many random places. What route did you take?

 

I wanna hear about that story man. LOL

There are some things I left out cause they weren't significant.

Ultimately, I went to go pick up some go fast parts. I thought it would be a good time just to get away and have a good time with a good friend. Turned out to be a pretty eventful trip.

And it did take a little while to type it. Just wanted to share it and see if there was something else that was funny. Honestly though if it was only the tire thing, and the highway driving. I wouldn't of said 5h!t, but as I thought more and more about it. It was just funny.

**EDIT**

I took the I-90 down to Clevland and then took the I-71 south to Columbus. 5 hrs 53 mins according to MapQuest. 5 hrs is more accurate.

 

not too bad. At least you didnt have to drive on I 80 LOL

 

At first when I was reading I was like what the hell lol. Had me wondering about you there for a minute. greddy2.gif Good story, gotta get used to your canadian-ness first. smile.gif

OMG, I looked at Kit's name and hes perm banned? I knew its been quiet lol.