I started getting calls about doing food surveys. I think my registration on the do not call list expired or something. I always think of this Seinfeld episode when people call me for telemarketing purposes



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ

 

My pastor preaches the gospel to them unless they hang up.



My wife tries to tell them nicely to GTH.



I just hang up as soon as I figure out who is on the line is not someone to whom I want to talk. Not even a havaniceday, just click.

 

Our answering machine has a synthesized, very "proper", british accented old bag doing the message.

They usually think they miss-dialed...

 

I have tried using the seinfeld trick before, but all of the telemarketers here are indian. They just read off a script, and any deviation from that results in really confusing conversations.







What has worked in the past is back selling. Hey, I've got a bunch of old hyundai parts in my garage. I can sell you a low mileage clutch for only $40 plus shipping! How about some steel rims for an X3 accent? They usually hang up once they figure out I'm not buying their 5 day resort holidays.

 

I'm on the do not call list, so I get the info and file a complaint, but I used to just lay the phone down until I hear the obnoxious disconnect beeping.

 

I just tell them I already subscribed to their service. Works every time!

 

when i was younger and lived w/ my parents, i'd try their patience-...



one time they had asked for my mom and i walked around the house for 3 minutes constantly calling out "mom? mom! muh-om!?!" then i started stacking pots and pans on the counter quietly. when the stack was large enough i pretended to look in the garage and knocked over the pots and pans while screaming in the background "oh my god i am bleeding! there's blood everywhere!" etc then i'd calmly get back on the phone and let them know she wasn't there.



one i always loved is to pretend to get my mom while she was taking a shower-... somehow the telemarketer felt akward. my stupid comments didn't help either "mom are you going to shave that or are trying to stay single for the rest of your life"



another is pretending to go in my mom's room to get her-... "mom-... ricardo what are you 2 doing? put some pants on for the love of god! dad's going to be pissed when he finds out about this-... ricardo i don't want to hear it-... get back outside and finish cutting the f'n lawn".



there was this other time they asked for my mom and i had explained that she was passed out after a 3 day crack binge-... the telemarketer actually started to laugh and i got on his case that my mother abusing drugs was nothing to laugh at and that i wanted to speak to his manager.



now that i'm older and they call my cell (restricted # btw) i just ask what the emergency is and they go on about w/e i'll inerupt them and tell them that my # is strictly for my patients and unless they are a triage nurse or in need of medical attention that they are not allowed to call and that my practice will have to bill them for that call-... that's when i ask for their company's info and they usually hang up.



you gotta look at it this way-... telemarketing sucks! it's a sh*t job that almost everyone has done for a total of 3 weeks until they get fired-... in the mean time i personally like to keep their day interesting. i know it's going to brighten up their day in one way or another so why the hell not?



for those of you who've never seen (or heard) look up tom mabe crime scene on you tube it's hilarious!

 

I just politely tell them I'm not interested.



Unless it's a female with a foreign accent, then I flirt with her. Some of those conversations have turned hilarious. I really think that no woman in India has ever heard the term "What are you wearing?" before.

 

^ Hilarious. Absolutely wild.