Funny Car Sayings
Thread Starter
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,799
Likes: 0
Vehicle: 2001 Hyundai Tiburon
I know theres a lot out there. Here are a couple that I enjoy:
VTEC. All of the lag, none of the turbo. Like waiting for bad sex
Nitrous is like a hot chick with an STD. You want to hit it but youre afraid of the consequences.
Post some up guys!
VTEC. All of the lag, none of the turbo. Like waiting for bad sex
Nitrous is like a hot chick with an STD. You want to hit it but youre afraid of the consequences.
Post some up guys!
Moderator
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,732
Likes: 5
From: Leesville, Louisiana
Vehicle: 2001 Hyundai Tiburon
No concequences with nitrous. Just don't hit it at too low of an RPM
Driving a Tiburon is like eating a pizza, if it's good it's real good, if it's bad, it's still pretty good.
Buckle your seat belt, this is a Tiburon.
If the car's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin'.
Ford = Found On Road Dead
I'm serious about the nitrous thing though. It's entirely too overrated. The purpose of nitrous oxide is to raise the oxygen level to 33% instead of the standard ambient air 21%. That's all it does, nothing more, nothing less. If used in 10 - 15 second bursts, it won't harm anything.
Driving a Tiburon is like eating a pizza, if it's good it's real good, if it's bad, it's still pretty good.
Buckle your seat belt, this is a Tiburon.
If the car's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin'.
Ford = Found On Road Dead
I'm serious about the nitrous thing though. It's entirely too overrated. The purpose of nitrous oxide is to raise the oxygen level to 33% instead of the standard ambient air 21%. That's all it does, nothing more, nothing less. If used in 10 - 15 second bursts, it won't harm anything.
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 463
Likes: 0
Vehicle: 1997, hyundai, tiburon
Acura 3.2TL - My car has been mistaken for a UFO at night.
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Integra - Got any spare coffee cans?
Acura Legendary - I'm too bland for German cars.
Acura NSX - I am impotent.
Acura NSX - I drive a poor man's Ferrari.
AM General Hummer - For what I lack in cubic inches, I make up for in size.
AMC Gremlin - I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.
AMC Marlin - My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Audi 80 - I thought the 4000s was too fast.
Austin-Healey 3000 - I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a
well-done steak by the time I
arrive anywhere.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Buick Electra - Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old
technology.
Buick Reatta - I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.
Cadillac Cimarron - I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified
Chevrolet.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville - I pimp hoes and tricks.
Chevrolet Camaro - My head rattles almost as badly as my car.
Chevrolet Chevette - My insurance payment is higher than my car payment.
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chevrolet Impalla - I took 2nd place at the 22nd Annual Southern California
Low Rider Contest
Chevrolet Yukon - I am on a first name basis with my mechanic.
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Charger - Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.
Dodge Caravan - My child can beat up your honor student.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower.
Dodge Viper - For what I lack in size, I make up in cubic inches.
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Mustang - Traction? We don't need no stinkin' traction!
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes
when I pull up behind them.
Ford Taurus - Sure it's ugly as sin, but it's a Ford.
Geo Tracker - I haven't tried to make any emergency lane changes yet.
GM EV1 - I created the EPA's ten most wanted list.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.
Honda Civic - I have bad credit or no credit at all.
Honda Civic - Complete mint condition interior for sale.
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Isuzu Rodeo - I like my Rodeos sunny side up.
Jaguar XJ6 - I can afford $60,000 for a car that is in the shop 280 days per
year.
Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with
Jeeps.
Jeep Wrangler - I am fortunate not to have rolled my jeep, unlike all my
friends with Jeeps.
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.
Lotus Esprit - Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
Mercedes 500SL - I play a major league sport.
Mercedes A-Class - I yield at all moose crossings.
Mercedes M-Class - I only paid $3,000 above sticker for mine.
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB - I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either.
Mitsubishi Eclipse GST - My ego is constantly shattered by domestic V8's
Nissan 300ZX - Sure it's slow, but Stillen makes a great spoiler!
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune
off the parts.
Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight - My car comes with a Depends first aid kit and and
bingo card holder.
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
Plymouth Fury - I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your
car in my trunk as a spare.
Plymouth Neon - Screw Civics, I own a REAL car.
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me.
Renault 2CV - I think your car is ugly too.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than
Isuzu.
Triumph TR6 - I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.
Toyota Supra - I use my spoiler to dry my laundry.
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet.
VW Jetta - I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I
swear.
Volkswagon Microbus - If this van's a rockin' don't come a knockin'.
Volvo 740 Wagon - My wife is a moving road hazard so I bought her this car.
Volvo 240 - Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front
of this guy to slow him down.
wait got more...
FIAT = Fix It Again, Tony
BMW = Break My Wallet
Pontiac = Poor Old Negro Thinks It's A Cadillac
How do you tell a Mercedes from a Cactus? W/the cactus, the pricks are on the outside
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI:
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW:
Big Mormon Wagon
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE:
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive... haha (NOT)
JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
Just Empty Every Pocket
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
PLYMOUTH: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
Honda: How Odd, No Damn Acceleration
Acura: A Class Underneath Real Automobiles
Subaru
seemingly unbreakable but alarmingly rusted underneath
BMW
blinkers mustn't work
blatantly materialistic wanker
bearing a miniature wiener
Jaguar
just allow the garage unlimited access for repairs
wow thats a lot haha
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Integra - Got any spare coffee cans?
Acura Legendary - I'm too bland for German cars.
Acura NSX - I am impotent.
Acura NSX - I drive a poor man's Ferrari.
AM General Hummer - For what I lack in cubic inches, I make up for in size.
AMC Gremlin - I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.
AMC Marlin - My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Audi 80 - I thought the 4000s was too fast.
Austin-Healey 3000 - I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a
well-done steak by the time I
arrive anywhere.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Buick Electra - Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old
technology.
Buick Reatta - I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.
Cadillac Cimarron - I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified
Chevrolet.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville - I pimp hoes and tricks.
Chevrolet Camaro - My head rattles almost as badly as my car.
Chevrolet Chevette - My insurance payment is higher than my car payment.
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chevrolet Impalla - I took 2nd place at the 22nd Annual Southern California
Low Rider Contest
Chevrolet Yukon - I am on a first name basis with my mechanic.
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Charger - Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.
Dodge Caravan - My child can beat up your honor student.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower.
Dodge Viper - For what I lack in size, I make up in cubic inches.
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Mustang - Traction? We don't need no stinkin' traction!
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes
when I pull up behind them.
Ford Taurus - Sure it's ugly as sin, but it's a Ford.
Geo Tracker - I haven't tried to make any emergency lane changes yet.
GM EV1 - I created the EPA's ten most wanted list.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.
Honda Civic - I have bad credit or no credit at all.
Honda Civic - Complete mint condition interior for sale.
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Isuzu Rodeo - I like my Rodeos sunny side up.
Jaguar XJ6 - I can afford $60,000 for a car that is in the shop 280 days per
year.
Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with
Jeeps.
Jeep Wrangler - I am fortunate not to have rolled my jeep, unlike all my
friends with Jeeps.
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.
Lotus Esprit - Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
Mercedes 500SL - I play a major league sport.
Mercedes A-Class - I yield at all moose crossings.
Mercedes M-Class - I only paid $3,000 above sticker for mine.
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB - I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either.
Mitsubishi Eclipse GST - My ego is constantly shattered by domestic V8's
Nissan 300ZX - Sure it's slow, but Stillen makes a great spoiler!
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune
off the parts.
Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight - My car comes with a Depends first aid kit and and
bingo card holder.
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
Plymouth Fury - I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your
car in my trunk as a spare.
Plymouth Neon - Screw Civics, I own a REAL car.
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me.
Renault 2CV - I think your car is ugly too.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than
Isuzu.
Triumph TR6 - I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.
Toyota Supra - I use my spoiler to dry my laundry.
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet.
VW Jetta - I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I
swear.
Volkswagon Microbus - If this van's a rockin' don't come a knockin'.
Volvo 740 Wagon - My wife is a moving road hazard so I bought her this car.
Volvo 240 - Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front
of this guy to slow him down.
wait got more...
FIAT = Fix It Again, Tony
BMW = Break My Wallet
Pontiac = Poor Old Negro Thinks It's A Cadillac
How do you tell a Mercedes from a Cactus? W/the cactus, the pricks are on the outside
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI:
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW:
Big Mormon Wagon
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE:
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive... haha (NOT)
JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
Just Empty Every Pocket
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
PLYMOUTH: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
Honda: How Odd, No Damn Acceleration
Acura: A Class Underneath Real Automobiles
Subaru
seemingly unbreakable but alarmingly rusted underneath
BMW
blinkers mustn't work
blatantly materialistic wanker
bearing a miniature wiener
Jaguar
just allow the garage unlimited access for repairs
wow thats a lot haha