SpideyShark

So i've been dating my girlfriend coming up on about 2 years. a couple of you might remember i posted something about us before, and how i ruined my trust with her. well we split up for a month, something happened that made her realize how much she missed me and how good i was to her and we got back together. it felt so nice to be with her again, but recently some bad stuff has been happening. she hasn't had as much energy, trouble eating, she's been depressed, hasn't felt comfortable with herself and recently she said she's not really physically attracted to me anymore, and she has no sex drive to speak of. she started taking her birth control i believe about february or march of last year, it wasn't helping much so she switched after i think about 6 months. she swears that all of this is an internal struggle with herself, and i completely understand what she means, but she says shes just a different person now. i understand that someone can change, but for the worse? i'm really worried about her and she says she knows the birth control has nothing to do with it because she's been taking it so long. i've done some research :

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/35663.php

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Womens-Health...fits/show/36874

i really think at least part of her troubles lies within the damn pill. so my question is has anyone here had any experiences like this?

Stocker

A woman's emotions are based in no small part on hormones.
Birth control pills are designed to jack with a woman's hormones
Yes it's an internal struggle in herself. She's taking pills that might be making it hard on herself. (One of the things that gets a doctor's goat is when a patient tells the doctor what they "know" because "I feel this way" doesn't equal knowledge)

And you're surprised to find her different when her hormones are being jerked around? It's messing with her. If you can't deal with having her around the way she currently is, either she needs to ditch the pill and keep them crossed, or you need to get a snip. If neither of those is an option, you need to ditch her.

You have to take people at face value in interpersonal relationships. If you go into something long term hoping to change somebody, you are deluding yourself and not being fair to them. Take her or leaver her *as she is* not as you wish she were.

And yes, people can change for the worse.

SpideyShark

i guess what i'm trying to get at is she doesn't think her problems are caused by the bc. i'm not saying that if she switched or got off the pill completely that things would be better again, but she used to be fun loving spontaneous and just a great person all around. now she almost seems like the opposite person. she doesn't want to have to try another pill, and when i bring it up it makes her feel even worse. i'm just trying to help but i don't know what to do anymore. i mean if she stopped taking a pill all together i wouldnt care if we couldnt be intimate, i just want my best friend back. and no getting snipped isn't an option seeing as i'm 19 haha. i just want her to see the types of terrible things that can result from taking birth control, and maybe believe at least a little that it could in fact be associated with everything thats happened.

and i would never go into a relationship trying to change someone, i just want to find out whats caused her to change so much in such a little time. we both took a big blow to our relationship and i don't feel like i've changed nearly as much as her. and one of the worst things is that for some reason i can no longer make her feel better when she's down. i can make almost anyone feel better, its a trait i'm very proud of.

so what can i do to get her to switch or stop taking it without pissing her off to no end?

UrS0NvS

d0od, seriously... don't even try to figure out a woman.

b1gb4ll3r

yeah i had a relationship wit a girl on bc for a while. she was on bc & antidepressants. play with fire & you can get burned

Rd1tib

Dude man, you gotta kno that all BC's are different. Girls typically would not know that the BC's can change their mood and such. I knew alot of females that takin pills that make them wanna kill their boyfriends. Honestly, she gotta find a new one to be on. Here is a link of the different BC's and reviews from the ladies. http://www.drugratingz.com/SelectThing.jsp...me&letter=O . By the way you guy are at an age where there are alot of changes around yas so that may play a part too. She might wanna go see her lady doctor too and tell the doc about her the problems. These are typical problems from having too much estrogen in the pills.

SpideyShark

the big problem is she doesn't think there's a problem, she said sometimes i just annoy and irk her to no end, and when i asked her why that happens she said she didn't know. she said two of her friend felt the same way about their boyfriends too and they broke up with them because of it. i at least just want her to stop taking it completely to see if there's a change. her current bc even just went up in price and hasn't been working the same. i just want her to see all the horror stories from other women, i mean hell i've read about the same thing happening to married couples...

Stocker

If she won't accept help you're S.O.L. Maybe have her call the Dr. Laura show and see what she says.

Lazyshot

You can't really make her do anything. All you can do is plead your case, present your evidence, and hope for the best. If she still doesn't
believe you or has another idea then be open-minded about what she has to say. But in the end if she decides that she is right and you are wrong, then either you have to live with it or leave her.

Have you ever thought that it could be something other than the BC? This is a big time in your life where your behavior/demeanor can change dramatically given a certain set of circumstances. This is also a big time when mental/psychological disorders start to develop. Also, anxiety and stress can lead to irritability, which is what you described.

Also, lastly, try and think about this from her perspective. You are 'accusing' her of being 'different', because of a medicine she's taking. You are telling her that she is not the way she usually acts, but in her mind she is. Even if you are claiming that it is not her personality that you want to change, but the medicine, you are still by proxy wanting to change it. This is wrong. And something she could easily resent you for. So....if it was me and my ex, I would probably drop the entire subject, because you are probably doing more damage than help. She sees you as a biased opinion and maybe she's doubting the relationship. So talk to her family/friends to get them to convince her.

DTN

Dude, from what you're saying, it does not sound like this is related to birth control. It sounds like she's become bored with the relationship and does not want to break up. You should just let this one go and get back with her in a few years.