WHAT ARE YOU?

Which animal does your birthday fall under?
Don't forget to check the descriptions after.

January 2 to January 11 ........Lion

January 12 to January 24 .......Salmon

January 25 to February 3 .......Bear

February 4 to February 8 .......Rat

February 9 to February 18.........Fox

February 19 to February 28 .....Ferret
March 1 to March 10 ............Crow

March 11 to March 20...........Magpie

March 21 .......................Elephant

March 22 to March 31 ...........Badger

April 1 to April 10..........Ostrich

April 11 to April 20 ...........Duck Billed Platypus

April 21 to April 30 .......Goat

May 1 to May 14 ................Salmon

May 15 to May 24 ...............Hyena

May 25 to June 3 .......Monkey

June 4 to June 13 .......Giraffe

June 14 to June 23 ......Flamingo

June 24 ........................Frog

June 25 to July 4 ..............Lion

July 5 to July 14 ............. Chimpanzee

July 15 to July 25 ...........Raccoon

July 26 to August 4 ............Dog

August 5 to August 13 ..........Ferret

August 14 to August 23......Elephant

August 24 to September 2 .........Monkey

September 3 to September 12 ....Magpie

September 13 to September 22 ...Warthog

September 23...................Badger

September 24 to October 3 .....Bear

October 4 to October 13 ........Frog

October 14 to October 23 .......Duck Billed Platypus
October 24 to November 11 ......Rat

November 12 to November 21.....Sloth

November 22 to December 1 ......Ostrich

December 2 to December 11 ......Warthog
December 12 to December 21 .....Magpie
December 22....................Giraffe

December 23 to January 1......Raccoon

Badger - Resourceful, loyal and well small, black white

and stinking. You, like the badger, spend most of your time
hanging around dark holes, looking for the slugs of the social

strata. You're also a bit of a vicious ****er, not giving up until you've

suitably destroyed your opponent (like the badger and its "I'm not

letting go till your leg breaks you dick" attitude).



Bear - Fearless, brave and dignified are things you might
associate with bears but there's no way in hell they'd be

associated with you. No, the things you have in common with the

bear are that you smell like you've had **** stuck to you for
four months, your hair looks like you've been in the forest for

thirty odd years, and your breath smells of fish.



Chimpanzee - Chimpanzees are nothing but exhibitionists.

Especially of their bare asses. You're the type of person who

wanders around beaches in the summer, practically naked, bar

one or two pieces of string covering your genitals. You think

you look great, when in fact your cellulite is clearly showing,

and your fake tan is starting to run down your legs with the amount

of sweat that's pouring off you.



Crow - You are the type who sings at parties, tries their hand at karaoke,

and loves to hum round the building site/office. You think this

is great and that everyone loves your voice. You are in fact

****. Your singing talents are equivalent to that of a real

crow. To top it all off, you've no sense of fashion either.



Dog - Loyal, friendly and disgusting. You'd give

your right arm to be able to lick your own arse, you'll eat

anything put in front of you and you'll do anything your mates

tell you. Plus you've probably got a hairy back and you

smell like a f*ckin walrus during the summer.



Duck Billed Platypus - A rare creature. You, like the platypus,

are awkward, goofy looking and spend most of your life hiding

your stupid features.



Elephant - The elephant never forgets or so they say. You wish you could,

cause your're fat, everyone insults you and when you're old, you're destined
to become a wrinkly wizened old bugger.



Ferret - Like the rat you are small and furry, but the thing about

you is instead of trying to make friends, all you do is

make enemies. No one likes you; you're a malevolent bastard,
who'll stop at nothing to harm others. As well as that

you're a smelly bastard, who really should wash now and then.



Flamingo - Ahhh, the pink flamingo. In male terms

the gayest of all creatures. You are extremely camp. You

are prone to mincing around the place constantly, your voice is
unusual, and you have abhorrent tastes in music. Look at the way

you're sitting right now! It's so gay! For the females,

Flamingoes are vain creatures, you're constantly looking at
yourself in the mirror, and that spot on your left cheek just

won't go away will it? God, it makes you look ugly.



Fox - What can one say about the fox. You're nothing

but a sneaky little bastard, who spends most of his time

either sleazing around bitches (or vice versa for the females),

thieving stuff and scheming constantly. You also whine a lot,

you're as skinny as heck and you're hungry most of the time.



Frog - Amphibious (adaptive). Small and warty.
Yup, you're a small warty runt of a creature. Your eyes

bulge out of your head, and people avoid you like the plague
for fear of catching some sort of ugly disease from you.



Giraffe - Tall, sleek and gracious. In the wild maybe,
but in human terms you're a lanky awkward whore. Getting in

everyone's way, constantly hurting people by mistake, and
generally making an ass of yourself in public.



Goat

The goat, rock steady in all situations, firm on its feet,

sure and strong, bold and daring. However when used as a
metaphor for people like yourself, we must look beyond these

qualities to the goats true nature. The Bastard child of Satan.

Close relative to the sheep, who we all know has no mind of

its own and follows anyone anywhere. Goats stink, so do you. It's

got a manky beard, which is especially true of the females,

isn't it time you thought about electrolysis?



Hyena - Hyenas are laughing all the time. Because they're

stupid as f*ck. If someone kicked you on the arse you'd

probably pass out in a laughing fit. You're a bit of a pack

animal too, spending a lot of your time hanging round with your

equally stupid mates, and are well known for coming up with

such wonderful phrases as "look at that guy, he's wearing socks

with his shoes, he must be gay" and rolling around laughing at

your cleverness for hours. In the office you're the type of

person that everyone hates. You send people stuff like this

constantly thinking its hilarious when its really just a pain

in the ass. Do us all a favour and f*ck off and die.



Lion - The lion, king of the beasts, noble and wise. Real

lions are anyway. You however are like the inbred lion, who's

looks are past their best, you'll do anything to survive

including eating your own cubs, or in your case, stealing from

your own mother. Like the inbred lion you are destined to

wander lonely forever through the plains of life until a hyena

comes along and devours your shell of a carcass.


Magpie - Ahhh magpies, the veritable dirty thieving

knacker of the sky. You've no morals, anything that glistens is
most certainly gold in your eyes, and definitely worth a fiver

down the local market, so in your pocket it shall jolly well
go. You're also a superstitious creature. Prone to avoiding

ladders and such, because lets be honest, you're a bit of stupid
twat.



Monkey - Playful, cheeky and

inquisitive. In the worst possible ways. You play stupid

practical jokes, you're a bit of a smart ass and you stick your

nose into other people's business where it's obviously not

wanted. As well as that you have a tendency to play with your
genitals far too much so cut it out or you'll go blind.



Ostrich - The ostrich, fast, nimble, quick. In

nature. Metaphorically, compared to people like you, they are
slow, stupid; their eyes are bigger than their brains and are

cowardly bastards. You have a tendency to be not so quick on

the uptake in most situations. Romantically you are stupid, your
eyes see an ugly f*cka, but your brain cries beauty. At the

first sign of trouble, you'll pack your bags and leggit back to
your mothers place.



Raccoon - Creatures of

the forest. Scavengers by nature. Which is what you are, you're
a mean bastard, never buy rounds when you're out drinking, you'd

rather save money than spend it and you go through dumpsters

looking for old stuff people have thrown out for your ratty
abode.



Rat - Small, furry and loathed by all.

You are the annoying types who are no less than five meters

away from your new found friends no matter where they go. You
try much too hard to be popular, going everywhere you can and

leaving signatures of your presence. You think you're cool,
when in fact nobody is actually friends with you, yet you know

everyone. More people see you and tolerate you for a while,
then they put out the poison.



Salmon - Salmon are sleek, silver, fast and athletic. You're not. You're stupid,

your house stinks and you look like a fish.



Sloth - Bone-idle. That's all you are. Good for nothing. No
redeeming features at all.



Warthog - F*ckin ugly. Nothing much else to say about you lot.

 

Raccoon - Creatures of the forest. Scavengers by nature. Which is what you are, you're a mean bastard, never buy rounds when you're out drinking, you'd rather save money than spend it and you go through dumpsters
looking for old stuff people have thrown out for your ratty abode.

lmao that's me!

 

Damn you! I'm not a stupid twat... LOL... tongue.gif

 

I'm a Magpie too according to that damn thing.

 

Sloth - Bone-idle. That's all you are. Good for nothing. No
redeeming features at all.

OMG, that is SOOOOO me!!!

 

Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!! Im a RAT and im nothin like the above. Im popular and have many friends but Im not annoying and I dont need to prove nothing to anyone but myself and I care more about others than I do myself.

 

Ostrich.. DAMN SCARY

 

I liked the first part better,

but man, i stink, and i didn't even know it
lol

 

So I'm a dog, what else is new lol

 

HAHAH YES
im a June 4 to June 13 .......Giraffe


im like 6'5 too haha