Another Top 10 List
05-23-2001, 01:23 AM
#1
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Another Top 10 List
Saw this and it cracked me up!
10 Things Guys Shouldn’t do to Girls/Girlfriends, but Still Do Anyways.
1) If you happen to be sleeping under the covers with your girlfriend, feel free to fart. This is called the oven fart, because it’s like you’re in an oven. So what if she smells it. I mean she’s your girlfriend, she needs to get used to it.
2) If you see a huge booger out of your girlfriend’s nose and don’t want to tell her because you think it might embarrass her, who cares, just pick it yourself. She’ll love you for it.
3) Opening the door for ladies. Sure it’s a gentlemanly thing to do but damn, I have to walk all the way around my car just to open a ****ing door? Even a moron could do that, so what’s the point? Aren’t women liberated enough as it is? Why do they want us to open a damn door?
4) If you get into a fight with your girl…don’t call her back, so what if you guys break up. If she doesn’t call your a$$ back, then forget her.
5) When talking on the phone for hours and you can’t take it anymore, tell her that you’re getting really bored of listening to her annoying voice and that you can’t take much more of it because your on the verge of shooting yourself.
6) If your girlfriend is a constant pain, always bugging you; wanting to talk to you, DON’T. Just don’t talk to her. She’ll get the idea and if she’s actually hurt by this, then...I don’t know...find a way to deal with it and get back to me.
7) Showing emotions. If your girlfriend wants you to show more emotion, show her the emotional side of your middle finger. That will raise some damn emotions.
8) If you have to say something nice...think up something that you can use often, something that is totally universal and can be used in all situations. For me it’s usually just a nod and a smile. “So how do you like my dress?” - Just nod and smile. “Do I look fat in this?” - Nod and smile!!
9) Kissing. So it’s time for the kissing stuff. Well, guys are sexual creatures. We want sex and it’s that simple. Don’t take the initiative in kissing, because, well if the girl is ugly, you are in no shape or form going to kiss that ugly mug of hers. So just wait and see if she wants to kiss you. Although this does suck, you have to wait out those bullsh^t moments in order to get the good stuff.
10) Last but not least, ”I love you”. Augh, those 3 words bring fear into the hearts of all guys. Sometimes there are moments on the phone when all she can say is “I love you” and “I love you”, blah, blah, blah. Don’t say I love you unless you feel like doing so. Love is a wonderful thing, but damn! Do I have to tell you “I love you” every f^cking minute?! Don’t you already understand that I love you?! Maybe I should tattoo “I love you on my forehead” so that you can understand.
*haha* Sounds like the author of this has some issues against chicks. Some of it is pretty funny though.....
L8TR!
10 Things Guys Shouldn’t do to Girls/Girlfriends, but Still Do Anyways.
1) If you happen to be sleeping under the covers with your girlfriend, feel free to fart. This is called the oven fart, because it’s like you’re in an oven. So what if she smells it. I mean she’s your girlfriend, she needs to get used to it.
2) If you see a huge booger out of your girlfriend’s nose and don’t want to tell her because you think it might embarrass her, who cares, just pick it yourself. She’ll love you for it.
3) Opening the door for ladies. Sure it’s a gentlemanly thing to do but damn, I have to walk all the way around my car just to open a ****ing door? Even a moron could do that, so what’s the point? Aren’t women liberated enough as it is? Why do they want us to open a damn door?
4) If you get into a fight with your girl…don’t call her back, so what if you guys break up. If she doesn’t call your a$$ back, then forget her.
5) When talking on the phone for hours and you can’t take it anymore, tell her that you’re getting really bored of listening to her annoying voice and that you can’t take much more of it because your on the verge of shooting yourself.
6) If your girlfriend is a constant pain, always bugging you; wanting to talk to you, DON’T. Just don’t talk to her. She’ll get the idea and if she’s actually hurt by this, then...I don’t know...find a way to deal with it and get back to me.
7) Showing emotions. If your girlfriend wants you to show more emotion, show her the emotional side of your middle finger. That will raise some damn emotions.
8) If you have to say something nice...think up something that you can use often, something that is totally universal and can be used in all situations. For me it’s usually just a nod and a smile. “So how do you like my dress?” - Just nod and smile. “Do I look fat in this?” - Nod and smile!!
9) Kissing. So it’s time for the kissing stuff. Well, guys are sexual creatures. We want sex and it’s that simple. Don’t take the initiative in kissing, because, well if the girl is ugly, you are in no shape or form going to kiss that ugly mug of hers. So just wait and see if she wants to kiss you. Although this does suck, you have to wait out those bullsh^t moments in order to get the good stuff.
10) Last but not least, ”I love you”. Augh, those 3 words bring fear into the hearts of all guys. Sometimes there are moments on the phone when all she can say is “I love you” and “I love you”, blah, blah, blah. Don’t say I love you unless you feel like doing so. Love is a wonderful thing, but damn! Do I have to tell you “I love you” every f^cking minute?! Don’t you already understand that I love you?! Maybe I should tattoo “I love you on my forehead” so that you can understand.
*haha* Sounds like the author of this has some issues against chicks. Some of it is pretty funny though.....
L8TR!
05-23-2001, 10:32 PM
#2
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I thought it needed a couple more question marks. wink.gif wink.gif
I thought it needed a couple more question marks. wink.gif wink.gif