187sks

Yeah, like it says. Did you wake up this morning and just kind of say "Whoa, that was a freaking messed up dream."? If so put it here. Put up any you want, whether they're funny or disturbing or just plain wierd.

I'll start:

I was dreaming that I was throwing pumpkins at my inlaw's neighbor's house and these crazy gay biker zombies came chasing me in assless chaps and mjmccarthy from HP pulled up and rescued me in his LC2 and we drove away and we went driving crazy fast up a mountain road that kept getting smaller and smaller until we couldn't go any further and got his Accent stuck. We tried to get it out for a while but it was no use. It was a cliff on either side of the road and both passenger side tires were off the road.

MJ wanted to stay with the car but I left walking farther up the mountain road to get help. I found a guy with a big Caterpillar 988 front end loader (the center articulating kind that have like 8 foot tall tires) and talked him into giving me a ride through a shortcut on a dirt road around the mountain. He got us out after some wild four wheeling and I was in Seattle.

I called my brother and 2 friends and they came to pick me up in my Accent (somehow?) and I drove us to Rick's strip club. At the door my brother tried to use the New Jersey fake ID I made for him but they weren't taking it. He's 19 so he could use his real ID but not in my dream. I got mouthy and pushy and the doorman pulled his jacket aside to reveal a pistol in his waistband. I backed up and turned to walk away but instead spun back around pulling my .45 on him. I told him that he'd better be careful who he threatens with a gun. I told him we were leaving but that he needs to watch himself. Two other bouncers have arrived during this time. I re-holster the .45 and then all 3 guys pull their guns. I draw and fire, hitting 2 of them and run my ass off up the street following my buddies and brother. The last bouncer is still shooting at us so I stop and fire back but miss. He stops chasing us though. Now we're stuck without a car so I give the keys to my brother to sneak back down around the police to get the car out of the parking lot. He is successful so we leave to go to my house.

That's pretty much all I remember. biggrin.gif

187sks

I have tornado dreams fairly often as well although I've never seen one and there are rarely any here. Mine are always terrifying nightmares and the tornado is incomprehensibly large.

In one nightmare the tornado has contact with at least a square mile of ground it is so huge. It is outside of my dad's house sucking up 200' tall trees about a mile away. I can see the trees slowly swirling up the perimeter of the funnel. The thing is enormous. It is also sucking up anything else in sight and raining down large amounts of debris on and around the house. As the tornado gets close enough to begin to shake the house violently I flip over a large cast iron bathtub and hide underneath it. The violent shaking and rocking continues until the floor begins to fall away beneath me revealing that I am thousands of feet in the air looking down upon indescribable destruction. I cling to the tub as we tumble through debris including trees, automobiles, parts of houses, livestock, corpses, and a few other screaming people. Debris bounces off of my tub constantly and sometimes strikes me. I see a woman slam into a Ford pickup at what has to be 300 mph. She splatters like a bug and destroys the truck. I also see a baby floating around without it's mother. I can't tell if the baby is alive or not. Eventually the storm has sucked me to an elevation of probably 40,000 feet and I get ejected in my tub for a long freefall back towards Earth. After a few minutes of freefall the ground is coming up fast and I brace for impact and wake up.

187sks

I'm driving the Firebird at about midnight to the bank I usually go to that has a walk up ATM. As I pull up to the ATM I notice four thug looking youths across the street that are just standing there paying an awful lot of attention to me. Obviously this is not a great sign, but I decide to continue anyways but I go over to the passenger side where the wife is sitting and get into the glove box to retrieve my .45 and stuff it in the front pocket of the camoflauge pajama pants I'm wearing for some odd reason.

I walk up to the ATM and start my transaction. I look behind me a couple of times to ensure that the thugs are staying put which they are. I finish my transaction and upon turning around I see that the thugs are surrounding my car and one chick thug who looks a bit like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas begins to open my wife's door and a large burly black man starts to get into the driver's seat. The keys are in my pocket. I pull my pistol and put it to the temple of the chick trying to get my wife out of the car. A guy comes around the back of the car with a sawed off double barrelled shotgun so I kicked it out of his hands and made him lay on the ground. I throw the shotgun into the brush and I throw the chick to the ground. My hand brushes her boob...I like it. Another guy comes over to me with a knife and I get him to surrender. The last guy is in the driver's seat and begins to harass my wife. I pull him out by the hair and drag him over to the others. People keep trying to get up and I keep almost having to shoot someone.

I have my wife call the cops and they come arrest the thugs and take us all directly to court. The judge says they're guilty and sentences them to probation at my house. I am not pleased. These dirty bastards are now living in my house and stealing all sorts of stuff and I have to tie them all up and beat them constantly. They make a reality show out of it.

Then i wake up.

________________________________

I go on a trip to Florida for some reason my job sends me. I have no clue why but I'm all for it. I hang out at the beach with endlessmike for a while. I decide to go check out the countryside. It's bushy and swampy. I don't much care for it. I see a 3 foot alligator. I decide to grab it's head. A 3 foot long alligator is stronger than I thought. I wrestle the beast into a box to save it for later. I am distracted by work related tasks and then I have to fly home.

I get into my bedroom and start unpacking. I get to the box with the alligator. I carefully open the lid to find that there is no alligator. I am concerned over where during my travels the alligator escaped. I decide it was probably shortly after I caught it so he's laughing at me right now from somewhere in the Everglades. I go about my business.

It gets dark and my wife is in bed watching TV and my daughter is sitting on the bed watching TV. The bedroom light is off. I lay down in bed. I hear a bit of a funny rustling sound on the floor over towards my closet. I decide to investigate using my flipped-open cell phone as a light source. As you may imagine a flipped open cell phone is not the most reliable and intense source of light...especially when it shuts off every 15 seconds or so making me close it and flip it back open again.

I continue my investigation. I see something sparkly. I see the sparkly thing move. I see another sparkly thing. OH SH!T I SEE THE EYES OF A THREE FOOT ALLIGATOR IN MY BEDROOM! I panic. It panics. I tell my daughter to run out of the bedroom. I try to grab the alligator by it's snout. 3 foot long alligators apparently have cat-like reflexes. I'm flipping my cell phone closed and opening it again repeatedly and waving it around trying to see the alligator. It snaps at me, narrowly missing my fingers. I flip on the bedroom light. It burns out immediately. I try to grab it again and get a hold of it by right behind the front legs. 3 foot long alligators are really limber. I drop the alligator to avoid being bitten. It runs around me. It heads for the bedroom door. I follow.

I look around. I didn't see if it turned to go into my daughter's room or headed towards the living room. My daughter's room is too messy to spot the gator so I get her out of there just in case and put her back into my bedroom and close the door to keep the alligator out. I head for the living room and a deafening beeping begins. I try to determine the source of the horrible noise. Do I have an alligator alarm? It sounds like an air-raid siren in my house with me. It appears to be coming from everywhere. I continue heading towards the living room to look for the alligator. I can't do it, the noise is too loud. I think I hear bombs in the distance.

I wake up to my alarm going off. I hop up to look for the alligator. I realize I was dreaming and drink some water because I am freaking thirsty. I must have been breathing hard panicking from the alligator. I chuckled to myself and got ready for work...

187sks

I had a dream last night that everyone was turning into zombies. Not the slow "Brainzzz..." zombies, but the fast running bite your ass zombies. And unfortunately for me these zombies were actually pretty smart and could intelligently work together. They were also part vampire or something like that. Their leader was a vampire anyways...

I ended up taking the family out into the wilderness to try to escape the zombies but there were still a lot of zombies because I wasn't that far out into the middle of nowhere yet. These were "you have to shoot them in the head!" zombies too. I broke one's neck and it tried to crawl after me with it's mouth. Haha! that was funny. I stomped on it's head. LOL.

I met up with a few SERIOUS rednecks and they had tons of weapons so we were able to fight off the zombies but their house sucked so you couldn't sleep because zombies kept breaking in. We decided to take over a brothel that was a mile or two away because it was 2 story and had barred windows. We shot lots of zombie hoes and pimps, plus a regular vampire that I stuck a chair leg through it's chest to kill it.

187sks

I am in a sparse pine forest. Much of it has been burned within the past five years or so. The ground is still scorched in some places. It’s a pretty high altitude, and I can see that it’s very rough country. I’m somewhere in the mountains. Above me I see enormous rock outcroppings. I hear a noise…voices…I look over and see several other people walking through the forest. I recognized them in my dream but I do not know them in real life. I begin walking up towards the rocks. A low lying fog has now made it difficult to see through the forest and it’s impossible to see the outcroppings above. There are around twenty of us making our way through the fog, the desire to get there quickly was becoming evident as some of the others began to claw out at the loose hill as the grade becomes steeper.

Finally we reach the bottom of the rock spires. The spires are full of holes, some just large enough to make a good foothold, some large enough to crawl inside. The spire I reach is probably 50 feet in diameter and 500 feet tall. I begin to climb. As I go the going actually gets easier. There are ancient carved stairways and most of the way I can climb through ascending tunnels. I get above the fog and the view is amazing. I can see the mountains around me, although snow is rare. I can’t see any volcanoes so I know I’m not in the Cascades. Maybe the Rockies? I cannot be sure. I am mildly annoyed that I don’t have cell service. I climb higher, and my fear of heights kicks in…slowing my progress and reminding me of my weakness. I overcome the phobia, nearly to the top now. I can see an ocean, so this is not the Rockies. I am possibly in the Olympics, maybe even some mountain range in Canada or Europe.

I reach the top of the spire finally. The wind must be blowing 50mph up here. At the top I find a larger-than-life sniper rifle. I think it’s a .50BMG, and its semi automatic and at least 8 feet long. I also have cases of ammunition lying awaiting my arrival. This was our purpose for climbing the spires, but why? Who or what were we going to be shooting? I look around at the spires surrounding me through my binoculars and see others reaching the top and taking positions generally facing south so I do the same.

I wait until nightfall with nothing presenting itself as a target and nobody else fired either. I Put down the weapon and curl against the rock with an ammo box for a pillow and I drift off to sleep.

Shouting. I wake up to shouting. It’s daylight now so I look around and see all the others are climbing down as quickly as they can. I look around the bottom of the spires and there’s nothing out of the ordinary. I see I have repelling gear and think that it would have made a better pillow than the ammo can but there’s no way in hell I’m climbing down with it. So I head down the way I had come.

At the bottom of the spires everything is in total chaos. I cannot understand what people are saying to me. I think they’re speaking backwards or something. At the very least they are speaking a different language. We’re running for the bottom of the mountain just as fast as we can. I hear motors roaring in the distance getting continuously closer. As I come to a clearing alongside a small mountain river I see an early eighties Toyota pickup with a huge lift come flying down a gravel road at something around 90mph with a white van close on his tail. The road is coming up towards the river and the bridge is out. The bridge still spans about halfway across the river on the close side, but the far side is completely washed out leaving at least a 50 foot gap. The pickup accelerates towards the bridge and jumps cleanly over the river and the van does the same. At this time I find one of the other people who can speak to me and he tells me that the guy in the Toyota is a member of our “resistance” and that the guys in the van are some sort of secret police who were sent to kill us. I hear the two vehicles coming back towards us, and the Toyota jumps at an angle to avoid hitting the bridge and lands on the river bank. The van jumps straight into the bridge and severs the entire top half of the van but otherwise it’s still operational and still chasing the Toyota. The Toyota tried to climb a steep bank but couldn’t and rolled over, but landed on its wheels and continued driving. Both vehicles headed off on the road and I never saw them again.

I wandered off into the forest which is denser here around the river. After some time I find an old overgrown road and continue to follow it generally heading downstream. After a few miles I come to a large masonry building. It is a hotel, many years abandoned and mostly reclaimed by the forest. It’s 5 stories tall and probably a hundred yards long by 100 feet wide. The paint’s either badly faded or missing completely. There are saplings growing out of some of the windows, and in a few places there are sections of wall missing. The entire end of the building is a poorly done graffiti mural. There are no signs of life and I decide to go inside and check the building out.

Inside the building there are in fact a lot of people and several almost-people…mutated creatures that you felt sorry for but would never turn your back on if you were wise. I see many things, from your run-of-the-mill drugged out homeless people to some sort of a bondage room full of heavyset middle-aged people dressed in a sporadic patchwork of leather and chains. At no point did I feel threatened; nobody even seemed to pay attention to my presence. This was all the better in my opinion. The stench of old urine poured out of missing doors and disconnected plumbing. The entire basement was turned into a sewage lagoon which had claimed the lives of several small animals. I can also see the bloated remnants of a foot sticking out from behind an old water heater. A rat sits happily chewing away at the soft spots between the toes as he floats along on his macabre raft. I decide that I’ve had enough of this place and head outside.

It’s getting later now and I can see electric lights down below me in the valley, which was something the old hotel could no longer list as an amenity. Wise decision or not I head downhill hoping to be able to get my bearings and hopefully find my way back to some place I found familiar. As I get closer I see it is a small but modern city. It is all but abandoned by the time I reach it well after nightfall. The street signs are all unfamiliar but at least they are in English. I walk through a commercial district, and just knew I should continue down the road I was on. I could just feel it. I turn on a road which is familiar and a few turns later I am at my house. This is a stroke of luck as this is most definitely not the right city but my house is here nonetheless. My whole neighborhood is actually. I rest for a bit because tomorrow was a big day…

I wake up, shower, and get ready to head to the dinner. Everyone I knew was going to be there. It was going to be great. I had already decided on the chicken cutlet. I don’t even know what that is but I was going to get it. I just knew it was going to be good too. I had directions to the place, which was good because I didn’t live where I live in real life. I hopped in the Accent and headed out on my way. I had to take I-5 to the QEW (Queen Elizabeth Way, in Ontario for some reason) but the QEW was different than when I was there. It was 16 lanes wide and had sharp corners. The signs were still in KPH, but they were 250kph (155mph) speed limits with 30kph corners. I was going about 105mph on longer straights and a cop in a European Ford Mondeo started following me. The flow of traffic was something around 90mph so I was weaving through light traffic easily with 8 lanes to work with. The cop came up next to me and the writing on his car was in a language I couldn’t understand besides the word “Polizia” which didn’t leave much to the imagination. He aimed his pistol out the window at me so I slammed on the brakes and he went flying ahead of me. I cut hard to the right to get a few cars in between us and I floored it to try to get ahead. I didn’t have enough raw power to pull on him but he wasn’t able to catch me easily either. I was using as much of the highway as I could and eventually put about a mile of lead on the cop in time for my exit.

I take the exit and pretty much directly off of the highway I find the restaurant I was looking for. I went to one of those automated parking garages that stores your car in a vault for your retrieval later and took a guess that it was storing at least a thousand cars. It was immense. It was about 10 stories high and possibly a mile in diameter. I head up to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet up with everyone.

Everyone, I mean everyone was there. Everyone I had ever met was sitting down to dinner at this restaurant together. Thousands of people…and I recognized every single person there. Even the wait staff was all waiters and waitresses I recognized from my real life. I saw people I hadn’t seen since grade school, although they were the correct age. It was like a high school reunion but for my entire life. And oddly enough we were not there for me, it was a coincidence or something. The lines to get a table were long, estimated wait time was 3 hours. That was unless we wanted to take the water slide, then the wait time was about an hour for the slide then they would seat you right away. I got in the water slide line. As you can imagine I kept bumping into people. Some I wanted to see, others not so much. I had forgotten the sheer number of people I dislike. In line with me I had my dad and both brothers; Gabe, Wilbur, Sephlar, Cottonmouth, 01importshark, and endlessmike from huyndaiperformance.com; my friends Kevin and his wife Margaret; and my friends Rob and Jeff from high school. For some reason Jed, Liz, Korean Redneck, and Sharkrocket wouldn’t sit by us, and neither would a couple of my other high school friends. I guess they didn’t want to go on the water slide.

Finally we went down the water slide and we were stripped down and dressed in formal wear by robots. We got to keep the suits. Score. We were escorted to our table which was an amazing walnut table which could seat a dozen people on each side. I took a seat at the head of the table and placed my order…chicken cutlet. They told me that they were out of chicken cutlet. I was irritated, but ordered Schweinshaxe (Bavarian braised pork leg) and a pint of the house hefeweizen instead. We uneventfully ate our dinner. Everything was good and got fortune cookies at the end. Mine was in a language none of us could read but everyone elses was in English. As we were leaving we were given a cup of excellent soup on our way out the door. This was odd, but we ate the soup and threw the ceramic cups off of the 120th floor and watched them fall until they disappeared. We couldn’t see them hit the ground.

That’s when I woke up…