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Chick-Fil-A Debuts New Homophobic Sandwich
http://www.theonion.com/articles/chi...andwich,28888/
ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its new Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu sandwich that would be on sale in all of the company's 1,600 restaurants this Wednesday.
In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.
"The Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu is our company's way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values," said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. "From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”
"Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right with a No Fudge Packin' Soft Serve Cone," Gary added. "I can't think of a better way to follow up a sandwich this good."
While the release of the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu has led to anger from pro-gay rights groups, loyal Chick-fil-A customers claim they are happy they can finally enjoy a sandwich that takes a firm stance on the issue of homosexuality.
"Any sandwich that combines that great Chick-fil-A flavor with a hefty dose of vitriolic homophobia is definitely going to keep me coming back for more," said Atlanta customer John Oaks. “Come Wednesday, I’m going to be first in line for this thing.”
According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie.
ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its new Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu sandwich that would be on sale in all of the company's 1,600 restaurants this Wednesday.
In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.
"The Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu is our company's way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values," said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. "From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”
"Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right with a No Fudge Packin' Soft Serve Cone," Gary added. "I can't think of a better way to follow up a sandwich this good."
While the release of the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu has led to anger from pro-gay rights groups, loyal Chick-fil-A customers claim they are happy they can finally enjoy a sandwich that takes a firm stance on the issue of homosexuality.
"Any sandwich that combines that great Chick-fil-A flavor with a hefty dose of vitriolic homophobia is definitely going to keep me coming back for more," said Atlanta customer John Oaks. “Come Wednesday, I’m going to be first in line for this thing.”
According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie.
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Homophobia is offensive.
Ironic factoid: Oral Plasmablastic Lymphoma* is a disease primarily occuring in homosexual men with AIDS.
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*mouth cancer that kills you in 6 months
Ironic factoid: Oral Plasmablastic Lymphoma* is a disease primarily occuring in homosexual men with AIDS.
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*mouth cancer that kills you in 6 months
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The fast food chain does NOT have a stance on rights. They serve and employ ever'body as required by law. But the HNIC is a christian and makes no bones about it. The restarurants are closed on Sunday but everybody is surprised the man doesn't like something God destroyed a city over?
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He has every right to hate gays. I also have every right to post all over the internet that the guy is a colossal dick head. Politicians have every right to tell him they intend to throw up every possible roadblock to keep his stores out of their cities. Everyone is allowed an opinion, but you must be willing to deal with the consequences of that opinion.
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wow me and cobra agree on a political subject
BUT MY POLITICAL ORGANIZATION IS THE PARTY OF NO!!!!
AAAAA WHAT SHOULD I DO??!??!
anywho
who cares what his stance is? his company makes f*cking sandwiches for crying out loud
its not like hes handing out loans or something
hell if a member here openly admits hes a KKK member, but makes awesome turbo manifolds for a reasonable price...id still consider buying one
im not sure if anyones noticed this, but i sorta dont like stocker based on a few of his opinions(BIG SURPRISE HUH), BUT if he ran a damn good bbq sandwich shop id still probably swing by to try it out
ive came to the conclusion that people just like b*tching about things
its like I WANT TO BE DIFFERENT SO YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT NO MATTER WHAT
there is a HUGE difference between tolerance and acceptance
you will have to tolerate somethings about this world, doesn't mean you have to accept it as your belief
BUT MY POLITICAL ORGANIZATION IS THE PARTY OF NO!!!!
AAAAA WHAT SHOULD I DO??!??!
anywho
who cares what his stance is? his company makes f*cking sandwiches for crying out loud
its not like hes handing out loans or something
hell if a member here openly admits hes a KKK member, but makes awesome turbo manifolds for a reasonable price...id still consider buying one
im not sure if anyones noticed this, but i sorta dont like stocker based on a few of his opinions(BIG SURPRISE HUH), BUT if he ran a damn good bbq sandwich shop id still probably swing by to try it out
ive came to the conclusion that people just like b*tching about things
its like I WANT TO BE DIFFERENT SO YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT NO MATTER WHAT
there is a HUGE difference between tolerance and acceptance
you will have to tolerate somethings about this world, doesn't mean you have to accept it as your belief