The following is the first/angry draft of a letter I'm going to tone down quite a bit before sending off to the city government where I live. They just informed me I MUST change trash companies to the company they want me to use, and pay a $25 deposit, and send a copy of my drivers license - along with my APPLICATION for services. Plus, we get to have TWO bigass trash cans (one for recycling) outside our house now.







Dear faceless City of Davesville bureaucrat,



I am in receipt of an undated form letter from the City of Davesville informing me that I must desist using the company I have used for the last eight years for solid waste disposal, and begin using a company chosen by the City. This is a sack of horseshit and I'll tell you why:



Requiring me to pay my money to use the services of a company you choose is FASCISM. Google "sic semper tyrannis" to see what red-blooded freemen think of this sort of thing.



You can take your application for a waste utility account and shove it. If you want me to have your people send their bigass trash cans to my house and have their trucks pick up my trash, bring it. I'm not applying for sh*t. I live here. Send them here. I will pay them.



While you're shoving things, take your recycling bin and shove that, too. Like hell I'm going to presort my recyclables from my trash. It all goes into the same bin inside the house and it will all be going in the same bin outside the house.



If you want photo identification, you can call and set up an appointment and I'll show it to you. You're on the wrong track if you think I'm sending a copy of my drivers license to an unknown place with unknown ID security protocols to be shoved in an unlocked drawer in some office. Of course, this is a bullshit requirement anyway. I am a citizen both of Texas and of the United States and have been since birth. I have lived here for eight years and never missed paying a trash company bill. Send the bills and they will be paid.



The bill that won't be paid is the $25 deposit. See the foregoing paragraph and take my f*cking word for it that I'm not going to welsh on my trash bills. I refuse to pay extra, up front, for the privilege of being forced to change my trash company. You want to change companies, fine I don't give a flying f*ck but you can keep out of my wallet. Send bills, and send trash trucks. What is $25 going to get you? Nothing is what, because I'll still be here, paying trash bills, a year from now and you'll eventually refund my deposit to me if I pay it. Will I have interest coming to me? Are you going to give me $5 for the honor of holding my cash for a year? No? Then f*ck off. Oh wait, you'll waive the deposit if I set up an automatic bank draft to pay the bill? How generous of you! How about you'll waive it anyway.



P.S. like hell am I giving you a work or cell phone number, and you'll have to start guessing if you want my email address. I'll be putting my trash bin out twice a week like I do currently, even though it will only be picked up once, just to piss everybody off. The recycle bin you will find beside the house with a potato plant growing in it. Please don't mess with it until the plant dies.



Here's hoping your office burns down.



Sincerely,



Dave

 

you don't say....



they are trying to do the EXACT same thing to everyone in Wichita, Ks. and they are fighting the idea just like you are.

 

I'd tell them a big fat NOPE. They have absolutely NO right to tell you who you must use for your trash service. That's forcing a monopoly, which is very much illegal.



If they come to you again and try to balk at your noncompliance, I'd be like "Oh, I thought that was an advertisment from the other trash company. There's no way that could actually be from the city. That letter went in the trash with the rest of my junk mail."

 

It's a Texas thing maybe. We like guns and creeping fascism. I can pick who sends my invisible electricity down the wire, but I can't pick who drives their stinky ugly trash truck at all hours of the day to pick up my horrible non-matching trash can. If you go into Austin, all the trash cans say "PROPERTY OF THE CITY OF AUSTIN" on them. If I ever get some land, I'm digging a pit and burning my trash in it.



I think this is going to be more like what actually gets sent.





To whom it may concern,



Enclosed please find my "application" for a solid waste account with the City of Pflugerveille. This letter is to register a complaint at this extremely-offensive process. I have been using the same solid waste company for eight years, have never missed a payment that I can recall, and am quite happy with their bi-weekly pickup service. If I have to change to the company selected by the City of Pflugerville I will. I *refuse* to pay a deposit for the privilege of being forced to use a different company, on the chance that I will turn out to be a deadbeat. Please recall that anything the City does has a policeman's gun behind it. Demanding money from me at gunpoint to force me to receive a lower level of service is morally wrong and sinful behavior by the City of Pflugerville.



Your letter says you can waive the deposit requirement for persons using automatic bank drafts to pay their trash bill. If you can waive it for them, you'll have to waive it for me, because I'm ready to raise a stink over this.



Sincerely,

 

you're damned right. if they keep dicking you around, just drop your trash out the front of their offices until they do something. or don't pay the $25 and let the trash pile up and invoice them for a skip bin.



down here in australia, our local council contracts it out to a single company, and this is included in the yearly land rates. it works pretty well i guess.

 

LOL dead thread resurrection! In the three months between now and then, we got a new trash can and no bill for the deposit. I printed out the polite version of the letter and put it and my drivers license on a copy machine to put my "proof" of ID on the same page as the letter. Then I got a fat red marker and drew an arrow at my photo on the license and wrote "UNHAPPY CAMPER" in inch high letters. I called a couple days later and the lady at the office had just been reading it . . . she asked if I were the unhappy camper and was generally not a b-tch about it so I guess it turned out alright.



Unless you care about recycling, because we're still throwing all that stuff in the trash.

(except the stuff I make money on . . . part of my company is a recycling place. All our old electronics, cardboard, w/e I take into work so we can run it through the system at a profit)

 

You could live in Las Vegas, where we have one trash company, one electric company, one phone company, one gas company and one cable company. You have one choice here... pay whatever bill you get sent, or have your service shut off.

 

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There fixed it for you!

 

some things aren't funn!



Oh well. When I get elected King you guys will see what's what!