Saying bad words and ranting about traffic.... then more bad words
01-19-2011, 11:17 AM
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Saying bad words and ranting about traffic.... then more bad words
Yeah, probably another wall of text for you to ignore. Not sure yet, but I'll step on my soap box now......
So I am 100% convinced that this city has worse traffic than hell itself. I have driven in many cities, seen many accidents, experienced many traffic jams, but by and large Atlanta is the scariest place on Earth to drive. As far as gridlock goes, that tends to only last a few miles, not that big of a deal considering I once sat in DC on 495 for over 4 hours to go ten feet. And the road conditions suck, but no where near as bad as some other states. No, what makes traffic scary is the quotient of inconsiderate a**holes to pussies. If you have never driven in Atlanta you must first realize that there are 4 types of drivers in this city, and all of them are orifices:
1.) The all to abundant a**hole in a hurry - This cannibalistic creature lurks in your blind-spot, only to strike when he feels that you care enough about your car to slam both feet to the brake pedal to avoid a nasty crash. So help him, this guy will get where he is going faster or take everyone else down with him.
2.) The irritating pussy - This f**ktard is arguably more of a nuisance as they are the "a**hole in a hurry's" primary prey. These idiots see everything and think that by allowing them to strike they are righting the worlds wrongs. Most often seen in a Toyota Prius, though any other hybrid POS will do, they just chill and enjoy the fornicating while the rest of us sit back cussing and wavingour middle finger various body parts in the air.
3.) Easily the smallest group, the safe and defensive drivers give the pussy room to do his thing and is totally conscious of the a**hole in a hurry. These neutral parties usually sport out of state tags and keep to the center lanes of major highways. Neutral in all ways, the safe and defensive driver forgives all around him while whistling along to his favorite show tunes played at a decent level on his factory stereo in the comfort and window-roll-upedness of his own car.
4.) Belligerent f*cking a**holes like myself - fight fire with fire!! Try to cut me off? Okay, I am so far up this Neutral's butt that a gnat couldn't merge. Driving up my ass? Well, I wonder what happens if I take my foot off the accelerator. And my personal favorite.... well, you'll just have to read on
Every f*cking morning I see the same a**hole drivers flying from the left hand lane into the right hand turn lane because they just have to pass those three extra cars or by God, they'll just die, be late to work and catch f*cking fire. And what happens when they cross an a**hole like myself who refuses to let them merge, they stop dead center of the road and block at least one, if not both forward moving lanes of traffic. What pisses me off even more is that when they are successful in cutting off a pussy, they slow to speeds FAR too slow to merge onto the interstate and cause an even larger backup. WHAT THE sh*t DUDE!! One day I'll catch one of those guys at the gas station and sodomize him with the fuel dispenser only after a thorough ass beating.
I catch a sudden panic if you miss a turn, but for the love of f***, go up to the next light or complex and turn around. No, these dipshits have made a habit out of this act. And it wouldn't be so bad if there was one, I could just just let that go as an imbecile soon to die in a fiery and most horrific way. NO! We're literally talking about more than a dozen people who do this on a daily basis just on this one road at the same time each morning. Therefore you just know that there's many many more. They just don't realize that they are the reason traffic is f***ed! But this isn't enough for these sorry motherf*ckers! As we're merging onto the interstate there is a second on ramp that actually merges into ours which generally has next to no traffic and only about 200 feet or less of good lane, but that's more than enough to get an extra car-length on people! Keep in mind our ramp has 2 actual lanes of traffic so a 3rd, while gravy, should be best left for those merging... Nah, that's silly, lets just drive 1/4 of a mile on the emergency lane, cut through the gore and choke up that lane too. Okay fine, just MERGE GODDAMNIT!! No, these bastards continue riding parallel on the shoulder until satiated, which is quite some distance. By this time our 2 lanes should be merging together to form one lane but we're 3-wide and stopped because one of those hurrying a**holes has stalled her H2/3 in that final lane. That's okay, we'll just pass her in the shoulder or by flying into the next lane without looking just to get back over and speed to the next on-ramp. Oh yeah, that merge lane turns into an exit only about a mile down the road. Once halfway up the exit these a**holes come to a screeching halt and wait for the perfect gap to get over 4 lanes, blocking anyone who wants to actually exit to get to work. From here in they just keep weaving from the left-most lane back to the right just to cut back through the gore to pass a few more cars. YES, they weave, IN MASS, back into the right lane to use the on-ramp as yet another lane. And this is why they say our traffic is the worst. Want it to get better? Then we get to the junction of I285 and GA400, the 9th circle of hell. SIX, you can count them, SIX lanes of traffic, four of which become merge lanes. I sh*t you not, even the cops come from the 4th lane over, starting about 500 ft back, to try to fit into the ramp. It's just f*cking retarded.
I, on the other hand, consider myself an unsung hero of the road. For as big of an a**hole as they may be, I am bigger. If I see you flying up the emergency lane and no lights flashing I'm bound to put on my hazards and "breakdown." Oh damn, now what are you going to do fat f*ck? Or my personal favorite, I see you merge onto the on-ramp, my ass is getting into that lane and running parallel of the dude in front of me. I actually did this one day a few months ago and when buddy tried to pass me on the shoulder he lost control and t-boned a trailerless semi. Did I stop, hell yes. He told the cop what happened and the cop said "well then you get what you deserve."
A few years ago Six Flags had a free admission day and needless to say it borked traffic for the entire city. When I caught people flying up the shoulder I got involved. Then, when I saw a cop up ahead with some body stopped for the same thing I decided to get back in. The stupid f*ckers just revved off and wound up rear-ending the cop car and each other. All in all I counted 8-cars not including the cop (who was stopped) that piled up. I had a smile a mile wide after that! There is no sense of self satisfaction like smiting f*cking idiots. This morning I had some f*cker decide he wanted in more than I was brave. BIG MISTAKE!! I was in the Accord... No please Mr. Van Man, don't harm my 20 y/o Honda that I got for free. He hurled his van right and began to turn back left to force his way in and/or strike me, I just held my ground and looked him dead in the eye and scowled. Yes you buttnut, I am well insured, PLEASE hit me with clear intent. Now do I even need to add that he was in the emergency lane trying to pass people? So Captain Cocksucker then flies up the emergency lane further to find a pussy. But just a few feet down the road I merged into traffic and he wound up behind me again. Pissed, he tried to pass on the right but by that time traffic was too thick. He was borked and had to stay behind me until he got stuck in GA400 gridlock. He was fuming but considering while he was behind me everyone he passed got by I doubt he'll be doing that sh*t again.
Don't mind me, I'm just venting. Had a horrible commute. Still, there is no excuse for this level of faggotry!!
And before the onslaught of questions/flames:
Yes, I have had people deliberately try to strike my vehicle. No they have never succeeded. The above two are the only accidents I have "caused" and I never do anything to deliberately cause a crash, just being where I was caused the idiocy to take over. Yes I am proud of this, hell if they leave the gene pool our society will be better off but no such luck.
Yes, I have had people get out of cars and chase on foot, in fact I have been in a few fist fights over this nonsense.
Yes, I am a raging a**hole. And a proud one.
No, I do not do this anywhere but home. Never had the need to. I can honesty say that of all the places I have driven in my life, nothing even comes close to this. One or two a**holes is forgettable. A road full is intolerable.
No, I won't stop. In fact I encourage more people to block and squeeze out a**holes.
I figure this is a one-way ticket to negative rep, but someone has to say it. These f*ckers all need to good solid ass whipping, and since I don't have that kind of time/patience this is the closest thing.
f*ck YOU ATLANTA TRAFFIC
So I am 100% convinced that this city has worse traffic than hell itself. I have driven in many cities, seen many accidents, experienced many traffic jams, but by and large Atlanta is the scariest place on Earth to drive. As far as gridlock goes, that tends to only last a few miles, not that big of a deal considering I once sat in DC on 495 for over 4 hours to go ten feet. And the road conditions suck, but no where near as bad as some other states. No, what makes traffic scary is the quotient of inconsiderate a**holes to pussies. If you have never driven in Atlanta you must first realize that there are 4 types of drivers in this city, and all of them are orifices:
1.) The all to abundant a**hole in a hurry - This cannibalistic creature lurks in your blind-spot, only to strike when he feels that you care enough about your car to slam both feet to the brake pedal to avoid a nasty crash. So help him, this guy will get where he is going faster or take everyone else down with him.
2.) The irritating pussy - This f**ktard is arguably more of a nuisance as they are the "a**hole in a hurry's" primary prey. These idiots see everything and think that by allowing them to strike they are righting the worlds wrongs. Most often seen in a Toyota Prius, though any other hybrid POS will do, they just chill and enjoy the fornicating while the rest of us sit back cussing and waving
3.) Easily the smallest group, the safe and defensive drivers give the pussy room to do his thing and is totally conscious of the a**hole in a hurry. These neutral parties usually sport out of state tags and keep to the center lanes of major highways. Neutral in all ways, the safe and defensive driver forgives all around him while whistling along to his favorite show tunes played at a decent level on his factory stereo in the comfort and window-roll-upedness of his own car.
4.) Belligerent f*cking a**holes like myself - fight fire with fire!! Try to cut me off? Okay, I am so far up this Neutral's butt that a gnat couldn't merge. Driving up my ass? Well, I wonder what happens if I take my foot off the accelerator. And my personal favorite.... well, you'll just have to read on
Every f*cking morning I see the same a**hole drivers flying from the left hand lane into the right hand turn lane because they just have to pass those three extra cars or by God, they'll just die, be late to work and catch f*cking fire. And what happens when they cross an a**hole like myself who refuses to let them merge, they stop dead center of the road and block at least one, if not both forward moving lanes of traffic. What pisses me off even more is that when they are successful in cutting off a pussy, they slow to speeds FAR too slow to merge onto the interstate and cause an even larger backup. WHAT THE sh*t DUDE!! One day I'll catch one of those guys at the gas station and sodomize him with the fuel dispenser only after a thorough ass beating.
I catch a sudden panic if you miss a turn, but for the love of f***, go up to the next light or complex and turn around. No, these dipshits have made a habit out of this act. And it wouldn't be so bad if there was one, I could just just let that go as an imbecile soon to die in a fiery and most horrific way. NO! We're literally talking about more than a dozen people who do this on a daily basis just on this one road at the same time each morning. Therefore you just know that there's many many more. They just don't realize that they are the reason traffic is f***ed! But this isn't enough for these sorry motherf*ckers! As we're merging onto the interstate there is a second on ramp that actually merges into ours which generally has next to no traffic and only about 200 feet or less of good lane, but that's more than enough to get an extra car-length on people! Keep in mind our ramp has 2 actual lanes of traffic so a 3rd, while gravy, should be best left for those merging... Nah, that's silly, lets just drive 1/4 of a mile on the emergency lane, cut through the gore and choke up that lane too. Okay fine, just MERGE GODDAMNIT!! No, these bastards continue riding parallel on the shoulder until satiated, which is quite some distance. By this time our 2 lanes should be merging together to form one lane but we're 3-wide and stopped because one of those hurrying a**holes has stalled her H2/3 in that final lane. That's okay, we'll just pass her in the shoulder or by flying into the next lane without looking just to get back over and speed to the next on-ramp. Oh yeah, that merge lane turns into an exit only about a mile down the road. Once halfway up the exit these a**holes come to a screeching halt and wait for the perfect gap to get over 4 lanes, blocking anyone who wants to actually exit to get to work. From here in they just keep weaving from the left-most lane back to the right just to cut back through the gore to pass a few more cars. YES, they weave, IN MASS, back into the right lane to use the on-ramp as yet another lane. And this is why they say our traffic is the worst. Want it to get better? Then we get to the junction of I285 and GA400, the 9th circle of hell. SIX, you can count them, SIX lanes of traffic, four of which become merge lanes. I sh*t you not, even the cops come from the 4th lane over, starting about 500 ft back, to try to fit into the ramp. It's just f*cking retarded. I, on the other hand, consider myself an unsung hero of the road. For as big of an a**hole as they may be, I am bigger. If I see you flying up the emergency lane and no lights flashing I'm bound to put on my hazards and "breakdown." Oh damn, now what are you going to do fat f*ck? Or my personal favorite, I see you merge onto the on-ramp, my ass is getting into that lane and running parallel of the dude in front of me. I actually did this one day a few months ago and when buddy tried to pass me on the shoulder he lost control and t-boned a trailerless semi. Did I stop, hell yes. He told the cop what happened and the cop said "well then you get what you deserve."
A few years ago Six Flags had a free admission day and needless to say it borked traffic for the entire city. When I caught people flying up the shoulder I got involved. Then, when I saw a cop up ahead with some body stopped for the same thing I decided to get back in. The stupid f*ckers just revved off and wound up rear-ending the cop car and each other. All in all I counted 8-cars not including the cop (who was stopped) that piled up. I had a smile a mile wide after that! There is no sense of self satisfaction like smiting f*cking idiots. This morning I had some f*cker decide he wanted in more than I was brave. BIG MISTAKE!! I was in the Accord... No please Mr. Van Man, don't harm my 20 y/o Honda that I got for free. He hurled his van right and began to turn back left to force his way in and/or strike me, I just held my ground and looked him dead in the eye and scowled. Yes you buttnut, I am well insured, PLEASE hit me with clear intent. Now do I even need to add that he was in the emergency lane trying to pass people? So Captain Cocksucker then flies up the emergency lane further to find a pussy. But just a few feet down the road I merged into traffic and he wound up behind me again. Pissed, he tried to pass on the right but by that time traffic was too thick. He was borked and had to stay behind me until he got stuck in GA400 gridlock. He was fuming but considering while he was behind me everyone he passed got by I doubt he'll be doing that sh*t again. Don't mind me, I'm just venting. Had a horrible commute. Still, there is no excuse for this level of faggotry!!
And before the onslaught of questions/flames:
Yes, I have had people deliberately try to strike my vehicle. No they have never succeeded. The above two are the only accidents I have "caused" and I never do anything to deliberately cause a crash, just being where I was caused the idiocy to take over. Yes I am proud of this, hell if they leave the gene pool our society will be better off but no such luck.
Yes, I have had people get out of cars and chase on foot, in fact I have been in a few fist fights over this nonsense.
Yes, I am a raging a**hole. And a proud one.
No, I do not do this anywhere but home. Never had the need to. I can honesty say that of all the places I have driven in my life, nothing even comes close to this. One or two a**holes is forgettable. A road full is intolerable.
No, I won't stop. In fact I encourage more people to block and squeeze out a**holes.
I figure this is a one-way ticket to negative rep, but someone has to say it. These f*ckers all need to good solid ass whipping, and since I don't have that kind of time/patience this is the closest thing.
f*ck YOU ATLANTA TRAFFIC 
01-19-2011, 11:53 AM
#2
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i didnt read all of it.. but about 50%.. hilarious.. HAHA.. makes me feel im not alone when im driving in ABQ or that i was almost petrified to drive on i-45 in houston.. LOL
repped!
BWAHAHAAHAAHAHH !!!! ^^
repped!
1.) The all to abundant a**hole in a hurry - This cannibalistic creature lurks in your blind-spot, only to strike when he feels that you care enough about your car to slam both feet to the brake pedal to avoid a nasty crash. So help him, this guy will get where he is going faster or take everyone else down with him.
2.) The irritating pussy - This f**ktard is arguably more of a nuisance as they are the "a**hole in a hurry's" primary prey. These idiots see everything and think that by allowing them to strike they are righting the worlds wrongs. Most often seen in a Toyota Prius, though any other hybrid POS will do, they just chill and enjoy the fornicating while the rest of us sit back cussing and waving our middle finger various body parts in the air.
3.) Easily the smallest group, the safe and defensive drivers give the pussy room to do his thing and is totally conscious of the a**hole in a hurry. These neutral parties usually sport out of state tags and keep to the center lanes of major highways. Neutral in all ways, the safe and defensive driver forgives all around him while whistling along to his favorite show tunes played at a decent level on his factory stereo in the comfort and window-roll-upedness of his own car.
4.) Belligerent f*cking a**holes like myself - fight fire with fire!! Try to cut me off? Okay, I am so far up this Neutral's butt that a gnat couldn't merge. Driving up my ass? Well, I wonder what happens if I take my foot off the accelerator. And my personal favorite.... well, you'll just have to read on
2.) The irritating pussy - This f**ktard is arguably more of a nuisance as they are the "a**hole in a hurry's" primary prey. These idiots see everything and think that by allowing them to strike they are righting the worlds wrongs. Most often seen in a Toyota Prius, though any other hybrid POS will do, they just chill and enjoy the fornicating while the rest of us sit back cussing and waving our middle finger various body parts in the air.
3.) Easily the smallest group, the safe and defensive drivers give the pussy room to do his thing and is totally conscious of the a**hole in a hurry. These neutral parties usually sport out of state tags and keep to the center lanes of major highways. Neutral in all ways, the safe and defensive driver forgives all around him while whistling along to his favorite show tunes played at a decent level on his factory stereo in the comfort and window-roll-upedness of his own car.
4.) Belligerent f*cking a**holes like myself - fight fire with fire!! Try to cut me off? Okay, I am so far up this Neutral's butt that a gnat couldn't merge. Driving up my ass? Well, I wonder what happens if I take my foot off the accelerator. And my personal favorite.... well, you'll just have to read on
BWAHAHAAHAAHAHH !!!! ^^
01-19-2011, 11:58 AM
#3
Super Moderator
I guess it helps
a)not being in hotlanta
b)driving a car with both sides crashed in and
c)living in a state where everyone knows everyone has a gun in the car
a)not being in hotlanta
b)driving a car with both sides crashed in and
c)living in a state where everyone knows everyone has a gun in the car
01-19-2011, 12:22 PM
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Vehicle: MC + RD2 + AW11 + 944 = 4x Win
