This is an 18+ section that may contain language, images, and video not suitable for work, marriages, children, or anyone opposed to graphic content. What did you do on your 23rd Birthday?
02-20-2014, 03:37 PM
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What did you do on your 23rd Birthday?
http://www.maxim.com/funny/porn-star...-23rd-birthday
Porn Star Heidi Van Horny To Sleep With 23 Men For Her 23rd Birthday
Today is French Canadian porn star (of two months) Heidi Van Horny's 23rd birthday, and she reportedly planned to mark the occasion in the most discrete way possible: by having hardcore sex with 23 different men, and live-streaming the whole thing on the Internet. However, things looked grim yesterday afternoon, when the porn company sponsoring the event - which was scheduled to begin at a swingers club last night - announced that it had been canceled due to a last-minute "inconvenience." Regardless, we're keeping our fingers crossed (sort of) and keeping an eye on AD4 Distributions' website just in case the event is rescheduled. And either way, something tells us that Heidi's 23rd birthday plans are guaranteed to be a whole lot more memorable than any Maxim editor's actually were. See for yourself, with these staff anecdotes.
"Considering I turned 23 on December 16, 1999, I was living in a bunker awaiting the Y2K apocalypse. Thankfully, we had LFO's 'Summer Girls (I Like Girls Who Wear Abercrombie & Fitch)' on CD single to keep the mood light."
-Patrick Carone, Maxim
"I have no memory of my 23rd birthday, which means it was either great or I am really really old. More likely the latter."
-Dan Bova, Maxim
"What he said. I have no idea what I did for my 23rd birthday. I’m sure it involved alcohol."
-Justine Goodman, Maxim.com
"As a reporter for a daily newspaper in Northeast Ohio, I owned the coveted 'Rural Beat.' My 23rd birthday included: phone calls offering anonymous tips about possible corruption within the 'Little Miss Tater Tot' children's beauty contest; an awkward discussion about Viagra's effectiveness with an older reporter; and a heated meeting of the Mantua Village Council, where a woman was protesting losing a tree in her yard to imminent domain. All in all, every bit as sexy and epic as what Heidi has planned."
-Christian Smith, Maxim
"I can't remember what I did, but chances are, I drunk-cried, passed out, and then woke up next to an empty pizza box — just like I do for every birthday."
-Laura Leu, Maxim
"The main thing I remember is that I didn't blow out the candles…I threw my face directly into the cake."
-Ken Shadford, Maxim.com
"A few weeks before I turned 23 I had quit my first job which was terrifying and really, really awkward considering I had only been there for a month. My last day happened to fall on my birthday, to which my old boss brought me cupcakes and looked less than enthused when I greedily grabbed the box from his hands (isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when given a gift?!). Despite how delicious the half dozen looked, I refused to eat one out of fear that there was a giant loogie hidden somewhere in the dough. Saddest day of my life to date."
-Alexa Lyons, Maxim.com
"This was my most unmemorable birthday ever. I had sex with, like, maybe just one or two people."
-Stephanie Radvan, Maxim
"I have no idea what I did for my 23rd birthday because it was sooo wild and crazy! Or maybe it was just really boring; one or the other."
-Cameron Berkman, Maxim.com
Today is French Canadian porn star (of two months) Heidi Van Horny's 23rd birthday, and she reportedly planned to mark the occasion in the most discrete way possible: by having hardcore sex with 23 different men, and live-streaming the whole thing on the Internet. However, things looked grim yesterday afternoon, when the porn company sponsoring the event - which was scheduled to begin at a swingers club last night - announced that it had been canceled due to a last-minute "inconvenience." Regardless, we're keeping our fingers crossed (sort of) and keeping an eye on AD4 Distributions' website just in case the event is rescheduled. And either way, something tells us that Heidi's 23rd birthday plans are guaranteed to be a whole lot more memorable than any Maxim editor's actually were. See for yourself, with these staff anecdotes.
"Considering I turned 23 on December 16, 1999, I was living in a bunker awaiting the Y2K apocalypse. Thankfully, we had LFO's 'Summer Girls (I Like Girls Who Wear Abercrombie & Fitch)' on CD single to keep the mood light."
-Patrick Carone, Maxim
"I have no memory of my 23rd birthday, which means it was either great or I am really really old. More likely the latter."
-Dan Bova, Maxim
"What he said. I have no idea what I did for my 23rd birthday. I’m sure it involved alcohol."
-Justine Goodman, Maxim.com
"As a reporter for a daily newspaper in Northeast Ohio, I owned the coveted 'Rural Beat.' My 23rd birthday included: phone calls offering anonymous tips about possible corruption within the 'Little Miss Tater Tot' children's beauty contest; an awkward discussion about Viagra's effectiveness with an older reporter; and a heated meeting of the Mantua Village Council, where a woman was protesting losing a tree in her yard to imminent domain. All in all, every bit as sexy and epic as what Heidi has planned."
-Christian Smith, Maxim
"I can't remember what I did, but chances are, I drunk-cried, passed out, and then woke up next to an empty pizza box — just like I do for every birthday."
-Laura Leu, Maxim
"The main thing I remember is that I didn't blow out the candles…I threw my face directly into the cake."
-Ken Shadford, Maxim.com
"A few weeks before I turned 23 I had quit my first job which was terrifying and really, really awkward considering I had only been there for a month. My last day happened to fall on my birthday, to which my old boss brought me cupcakes and looked less than enthused when I greedily grabbed the box from his hands (isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when given a gift?!). Despite how delicious the half dozen looked, I refused to eat one out of fear that there was a giant loogie hidden somewhere in the dough. Saddest day of my life to date."
-Alexa Lyons, Maxim.com
"This was my most unmemorable birthday ever. I had sex with, like, maybe just one or two people."
-Stephanie Radvan, Maxim
"I have no idea what I did for my 23rd birthday because it was sooo wild and crazy! Or maybe it was just really boring; one or the other."
-Cameron Berkman, Maxim.com
02-23-2014, 11:02 PM
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My 23rd birthday? I kicked my roommates ass and threw him and his stuff out into the curb (literally). Then I broke up with my cheating whore of a girlfriend and went to the club with 3 of her friends that I later took turns plowing in her bed at her folks place that night. 
I left the used rubbers on her headboard as proof. It was great times.
No 23 chicks, but I'm also a lot more cautious.
I don't like to spin the wheel of diseases that much.
I left the used rubbers on her headboard as proof. It was great times.
No 23 chicks, but I'm also a lot more cautious.
I don't like to spin the wheel of diseases that much.
04-24-2014, 01:50 PM
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My 23rd birthday? I kicked my roommates ass and threw him and his stuff out into the curb (literally). Then I broke up with my cheating whore of a girlfriend and went to the club with 3 of her friends that I later took turns plowing in her bed at her folks place that night.
I left the used rubbers on her headboard as proof. It was great times.
No 23 chicks, but I'm also a lot more cautious.
I don't like to spin the wheel of diseases that much.
I left the used rubbers on her headboard as proof. It was great times.
No 23 chicks, but I'm also a lot more cautious.
I don't like to spin the wheel of diseases that much.
This seems like more fun.