This is an 18+ section that may contain language, images, and video not suitable for work, marriages, children, or anyone opposed to graphic content. Jokes To Offend Everyone
11-27-2008, 09:41 AM
#1
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JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a
blonde baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .." -
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a
blonde baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .." -
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
11-27-2008, 10:22 AM
#3
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I got some...
Have you ever heard of a stawberry short cake?
Its when you getting ready to bust a nut in a girls' face, you punch in the nose and bust then swirl it around.
Ever heard of the Pearal Harbour?
its when you hitting it doggie and when you get ready to bust, you spit on the girl's back, when she turns around you bust in her face...SNEAK ATTACK!
Ever heard "bucking bronco"?
its when you hitting it doggie with your girl, you whispher in her ear, "Your sister was better!" and see how long you hold on
Have you ever heard of a stawberry short cake?
Its when you getting ready to bust a nut in a girls' face, you punch in the nose and bust then swirl it around.
Ever heard of the Pearal Harbour?
its when you hitting it doggie and when you get ready to bust, you spit on the girl's back, when she turns around you bust in her face...SNEAK ATTACK!
Ever heard "bucking bronco"?
its when you hitting it doggie with your girl, you whispher in her ear, "Your sister was better!" and see how long you hold on
11-27-2008, 10:25 AM
#4
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I was so offended by all of those! No actually they were pretty funny. I didn't get the one about the Italian and the speech impediment tho...
I'm gonna have to say that the bucking bronco was f'in hilarious!
I'm gonna have to say that the bucking bronco was f'in hilarious!
11-27-2008, 01:26 PM
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The bucking Bronco one was hilarious. And i think the italian one refers to how they always talk with their hands lol. Its true too lol. Those were all good jokes.