"If the homo fits..."

"I've got these little douchebags on the back of my head"

"You will now synchronize with my device..."

"Now if you could actually stick it up like that..."

"You can go down to El Salvador and have sex with a 5 year old boy."

"Seriously...as pretty as I am...whew..."

"I will not be drinking wang juice."

"I'm always looking for something to stick in your ass."

"Do you think Jesus had a huge wang?"

"Ok, that just came out of nowhere."

"At least the tiny douchebags on the back of my head aren't leaking today."

"I say we just take him out in the woods and spray him down..."

"I could have done all manner of unnatural things to you at that point."

"Oh man! I just douched all over myself!"

"I'm afraid it's gonna hit me in the face."
--------------------------------------
"Just take the mouth...and put the genitals in it..."

"Oh, I will own myself."

"It's douching red stuff everywhere!"

"Sorry, that was my gay moment."

"Where the hell did my damn little thingy go?"

"I wish the different colors were different flavors."

"Do I have peanut butter on my ass?"

"Not only does it look like bloody semen, but it makes my eyes burn from the smell of it."

"You're just peppering them with small plastic balls."

"Wow, that's a mouthful!"

"At least someone's getting enjoyment out of my pseudo-homosexuality."

"I can't stop, it exploded everywhere!"
-------------------------------------
"Sneezes are interesting, it's a tickle in the nose then the mouth explodes."

"Ah, Christ my ass hurts."

"After a long night of drinking your pee usually burns...or at least mine did..."

"It's better to be raped by a gay man than a straight man...Wait, WTF am I saying?"

"I'm not a thirteen year old European girl...THANK GOD!"

"Now my arm feels like it's being crawled over by tiny homosexual midgets."

"That's the point douchebag. I want you to die. Then maybe you'll stop quoting me all the time."

"It's all over my chin!"

"Now that the mouth douching is over..."

"Dude, it's EVERYWHERE! It's on the chair!"

"This sounds like gay techno...not that I would know what that sounds like."

"This is way too small dude..."

"Dude, that horse has a huge wang."

"Actually, I have a very good gag reflex. It pops things back when I choke on them."

"You're not giving my mother the shocker!"

"Sweet, you can play as your own half-naked Greek man."

"Oh no! My balls are flying away!"

"I want a pet monkey, that like as I walk down the street it randomly rapes people it sees."
----------------------------------------------
"It's pretty dead, we can leave it alone now."

"All hail Floyd, master of the KoC."

"There are frog people. I have two of them. I have fairies as well."

"Handjobs aren't five dollars...wait, how the hell would I know?"

"It's all like...down in the crack..."

*choking* "Never lick butter off your hand after you've used hand sanitizer."

"What is it with you and rape?"

"That was back when I was really homophobic..."

"That would bother me...drinking a live animal..."

"What the hell is on my lip?...Ah, Christ..."

"Vaginas are evil."