Hyundai Aftermarket - "and thats when the fight started"

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were

in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer

would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.....

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first...

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started.....

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping

the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming

anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to

200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started..

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as

he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...

I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and

I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said, 'who would think a

person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were

alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know

how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem

funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

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SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST …..

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife

kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of

first, the truck, the car, playing golf,

Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When

I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,

busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the

house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed

her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,

you might as well sweep the driveway.'