Damn..if only relationships were like cars. Cars are so simple. Chicks are complicated. *lol* Anyway, here's the issue. Some of you remember the girl I was dating a while back that has the Yellow ZX2 that's all done up. She's a true tuner at heart and loves the sport. We were best friends and ended up going to the next level and we had started a somewhat serious relationship. We broke up because she was studying to get her Masters (still is) and she had a hectic schedule. Also, we didn't want to take the chance and ruin the strong friendship that we have.

So, she came to me a few days ago, and gave me this big spew about how she wants to get back together and she wants to be involved seriously with me. For the most part, she's everything that I want in a girl, except she has stress issues. Another words, she gets stressed out over the smallest things. Her schedule isn't as busy as it once was, but I'm wondering should I take the chance and get involved with her? I can handle her getting stressed out. But what I'm worried about is the fact that we are such good FRIENDS.

How many people have gotten invoved in a relationship with a friend of theirs? How did it work out? If the relationship eneded, did you still keep your friendship, or was it awkward between the 2 of you? Thanks for any advice you guys (and gals) can give.... wink

 

well one time I went out with this gurl that was my best friend. we went out for a lil bit and then she dumped me because she didn't want to ruin our friendship, she wanted to stop goin out with me before it got serious.......we're still good friends but i get jealous when she gets a new boyfriend and i don't have a girl of my own sad.gif but it's all good for now

I dun know what you should do. I guess it depends on the situation. If i were you I'd go for it, but thats always risky thing to do, and i never think before i do something tongue.gif

[ October 21, 2002, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: FAL ]

 

Best Friend make the best girlfriends, cause you already know everything about them, so pleasing them is quite easy. JUST DONT MESS UP. Or else it's a wasted friendship right there.

 

I say take the chance. If you've already built a strong foundation in your friendship, then going to the next level shouldn't be a problem because you already know each other well enough.

Trust me, I am going through the same thing. A girl I am interested in is studying to be a RN. She studies damn near 8 hours a day and she's always a little edgey and stressed out. More than likely, in your case, your girl is stressed due to her getting her Masters Degree, (which is no small task).

I'd say go ahead and accept her offer to get back together.

As for getting with the BEST FRIEND, I did back 8 years ago and even though we broke up on bad terms we are still best friends to this day.

good luck.

 

wow man, thats weird. See with me, I wish I could just be friends with my wife...lmao We always got along better when we were frinds or just not married. But always take into consideration the two most frightening words in life.....

"In-Laws" rolleyes.gif

Lifes short man, too short, balls to da wall, take your time and enjoy the friendship and let it progress on its own.

 

Dude go for her! Trust me you'll never find da perfect perfect gurl! there is always a lil something about everyone. Just like yourself and everyone else (no one is Perfect) so if it's a stress thing, she if you can handle it. If not dump her. But don't waste time thinking about datin' her! Just do it and the friendship part. Yah if you like her and she likes you you'll be friends. Just don't break up with her in an A$$hole manner! like I said don't wait. I was thinking about dating my gurl for 4 months till I finally gave in.(probably was I'm 4 years older then her! she's still in High School and I'm in college but I gave in and said wat da hell! And now I'm da happiest man alive. Perfect gurl! Hopefully Tuner gurl will make ya happy 2.

Good Luck Bro!

 

GO MAN GO.. I married one of my best friends.. IF you are low stress and she is High.. They you will balance.. (my wife and I do.. Im so high maintence its not funny)

Besides Tuner chicks are a hard find..

 

I've had serious relationships with my friends before, all turned out not to last too long. Sometimes, your friends should be just friends for many reasons. I found out that its always worth a try because you'd never know, but I haven't had any luck lately with things like that.

Best is to not ask us, but to talk to her about it.

 

Heya Josh,

You are tip-toeing in a tender area when you talk about dating a best friend. Here is a couple things you can do to evaluate the situation.

Take her out to dinner just to discuss the merits of staying just friends and of being serious. The thing about staying friends is that you wont loose her as easily, unless you do find another girl or she finds another guy. You might find it unbearable to be around her if she is with someone else (and vice versa for her). Yet it is always hard to take that first step. You can also talk about your short commings and get her to talk about hers and try to figure out if you can both really cope with them long term. If you find that the benefits outway the risks, go for it. You are standing at a crossroads where either way can lead to loosing out, but you cannot see into the future any better than the rest of us. I took a gamble with my best friend and here we are almost 2 years later, owning a house and having a child. We are perfectly happy and I don't think anything will get in our way. You know my situation a bit, it was a big gamble.

My approach sounds clinical (weighing pros and cons through talking) but it really does work and gets the ball rolling in the right direction. Communication is #1. If you can start the relationship that way, perhaps you can keep it alive and strong (even through her stress issues).

Best of luck, let me know your decision!

 

I think that if you date someone with whom you are good friends, one of four things will happen:

1) You'll go on to live a long happy life together.
2) You'll go on to live a long miserable life together.
3) You'll realize the relationship isn't working, break up and remain friends, and possibly strengthen the friendship.
4) You'll realize the relationship isn't working, break up and never speak to each other again.

Of course, these four things can apply to any relationship, not just one with a friend.

While dating a close friend does present risks to the friendship, you don't have to date a friend for the friendship to go wrong.

IMO, if you like her, if you enjoyed the time you spent with her while you were dating before and if you can see yourself living with/married to/having kids with her in the future, then go for it.
But before you do, take Terri's advice and talk to her about it first. Try to establish that you don't want the relationship to ruin the friendship and make sure she feels that way too. I think doing this might help avoid the friendship being lost if the relationship doesn't work out.

Before my wife and I got hitched last year, we dated for six and a half years. In that time, we grew closer both in our relationship and as friends.
Now that we're married, it's great to know that I get to look forward to so much with her, in whatever we do.

Look at it this way, Josh... this could be the opportunity that, if you don't take it, you'll look back on it and kick yourself in the ass.

I think that you'll be okay as long as you stay friends. Remember why she's your friend to begin with.

Good luck!

[ October 22, 2002, 11:34 AM: Message edited by: stickshift ]