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The Purina Diet

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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 07:03 PM
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The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Phoebe and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.....
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 07:30 PM
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lmfao, thats hilarious. hope it actually happened. lmao.gif
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 07:35 PM
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maybe to somebody.. it was email that was sent to me. I do not shop at wal-mart. But I did have to share this
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 07:46 PM
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lol.. AHAHAH i was reading that, and at first i thought it was something you did. then im like this dont sound like MAD... then i was like o its a joke.. lol lmao.gif
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 07:58 PM
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haha that's funny man. i thought it was you and kept thinking you'd never have the heart to tell that to anyone. it's funny as hell though, i would have loved to see that on camera.

believe it or not, people will believe that.
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 08:08 PM
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oh my fvckin god that is hilarious!!!

lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif lmao.gif
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 08:42 PM
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lmao.gif I had to get everyone around to read it. I thought you accutally did that though, still funny.
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 10:27 PM
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lol, I didn't realize it wasn't you till your second post. good stuff lmao.gif
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Old Jan 15, 2007 | 11:01 PM
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ACtually... this sounds very familiar.. i could of sworn somebody posted this 3-4 years ago on here.
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